IM XTREMLY AWESOME! and i like cookies.

RAWR!!!! I (was) A̶M̶ DRAGON!

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

AN AWESOME STORY!
Dragon, one time there was a space alien named Mr. Walrus. He came to Earth because his planet had no biscuits (what you probably refer to as "cookies"). But he stole those biscuits from innocent children. In order to stop his mad reign of biscuit-stealing, Jack Bauer decided to drop kick the alien into the San Francisco zoo, where a bear ate him. And that is the story of how Jack Bauer saved all the biscuits in the world.

ANOTHER AWESOME STORY!
'One day, Jack Bauer was forced to defend America against a being that no man could match, because this threat against our great nation was extraterrestrial. You see, an alien force known only as Justin Bieber decided to steal all of the apple pie in America. Justin Bieber only did this as a practical joke, because you know, he's a prankster like that. But there was a problem - as we all know, apple pie is really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ American. You don't ♥♥♥♥ with America like that.

That's very similar to the time the Emperor and my homeboy Darth Vader decided it would be really funny if the Earth had two moons, and if one of those moons fired lasers powerful enough to destroy a planet. If you saw the documentaries Star Wars: A New Hope and Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, you know that Jack Bauer ♥♥♥♥♥♥ that ♥♥♥♥ up royally. He destroyed both Death Stars and, with a smirk, said to the Emperor and Darth Vader: "Yo, brah. Why you be tripping? That really wasn't cool. You had a lot of people worried, and when they found out it was just a load of ♥♥♥♥, they were upset."

But back to the Bieber problem. He told that kid the same thing he told Vader and the Emperor. Justin Bieber then realized, taking away apple pie this close to Christmas is really ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up. I don't even get Christmas and I know how ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up that is. You just don't take away apple pie in America, especially during the holidays. So Bieber returned all the apple pies to America before Jack Bauer decided to ram a stick up that little punk's ass. And that is the story of how Jack Bauer not only saved America, but how he saved Christmas.'

A story by the one and only
Octo

AN AWESOME QUOTE!
Well you see, Dragon, sometimes if you want to teach a bird how to swim, you have to throw it out of an airplane and it will learn to fly on the way down.