A frat bro like you really thinks you have a chance against me on the chess board? In your dreams, dude. While you were distracted with deadlifts and drinking Dos Equis, I destroyed my opponents with D-Pawn openings. Oh, you have a full-ride sports scholarship? We'll see if you can even stop a scholar's mate. You can keep your brawn and brews, I checkmate Chads like you constantly.

Hello I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the dead guild discord. I am quite popular around here (marked this as my territory first) in this server, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as most women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers (read: men above)... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time.

Farming THE CORN outta KIDS

I knew it was you lmao

Now before any of you report me for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hear me out. First according to the height of a Minion (which is 3.5 feet on average) Gru is 4 minions tall, which means he is a godly size of 14 feet tall. Furthermore if any of you remember the original Despicable Me, you know there is a scene when Vector kidnaps the three girls and shoots a series of heat-seeking misses at Gru, he then dodges them all. According to the speed of an average ballistic missile (1900 mph) and the size of the missile according to his ankle size, Gru can perceive and move at such a speed that the missiles only move 9.5 miles per hour, 0.5% of their original speed. After this Gru punches a shark and it is paralyzed meaning its spine is probably shattered, to remind you it would require a force greater than 3,000 newtons to fracture the spine.

cracked ngl