roses are red
violets are blue
you tickle my pickle
lets do coke

Happy Anniversary hun! Happy to be married to you for another year, here's to 5 more!

https://pastebin.com/iza8hr5c

your ♥♥♥♥, my anus, do the maths

Nuclear weapons. There’s just something oddly erotic about them. Two big, beautiful nation states, staring daggers at each other while the tension slowly rises. You never know what could set the two of them off - maybe a cute little offshore island, or an up close and personal border dispute.

It starts off with some light teasing - belligerent speeches, diplomatic spats, hot and heavy sanctions and blockades. They’ve been eye-ing each other for so long, they’re powerless to stop what comes next.
They then move on to the foreplay - beginning with a few skirmishes, just a few shy artillery shells and commando raids, before moving on to full on, wild, abandoned exchanges of conventional munitions. You know, the really filthy, sexy stuff - dogfights, tank offensives, air strikes, cruise missiles, and the old reliable, millions upon millions of infantry charging to their deaths.
Sometimes, the neighbors join in. They hear all the noise from next door and can’t resist. It’s a glorious, unhygienic mess, debris and bodily fluids scattered everywhere, and they can’t stop themselves from screaming when things get too intense.