Basically, I'm epic.
I got a valorant key but I decided I WOULD NOT PLAY IT!!!

Valorant is trash, if you like valorant you probably also like poop, farts, pee, and other really gross stuff I'm already about to puke because I had to come up with these things, but I'm certain a valorant player likes these things and could easily make a complete list of all of them, on top of creating new ones (gosh, I really hate these people, if you can call them that). Also I bet they also don't take showers, and are just really disgusting cringey people and stuff, like, I knew a guy who said he played valorant and he was all of these things at once. Just kidding, I would never choose to know about a person who unironically likes valorant, because you can always tell they play valorant without having to talk to them in the first place. So yeah I don't know any of them, and before you tell me I don't meet people irl... I do, okay, and just the fact that you're seriously doubting that... I mean I have a huge and really big social life with so many friends, it's incredible, you wouldn't even know, you just could never fully grasp it, like, yeah, I'm really cool and epic, and I know everyone who's also super epic cool chill and just like really cool and smart and the opposite of cringe knows that I'm like that, which is why I'm the best friend of everyone on earth who is like that too, so basically they each say that I'm their best friend, meanwhile I'm like, "like yeah he's a friend", and I'm really not trying to be mean or anything like that, I genuinely don't mean to hurt people, I just know that many is all. Either way, being mean by telling your friends that they're not that cool in order to be mean? Yeah that's what a valorant player would do, if they had actual normal people friends, which would literally never happen, but if we imagine for a second that such a person would, say, usurp, the position of a very cool and epic man like I am, so they're an impostor basically, and for a day they got to live like me, which wouldn't happen, but basically they would immediately brag, and I would never do that, much less brag about how I don't brag. Now, I know it sounds like I'm bragging and bragging about not bragging right now but I normally don't do that, I'm only doing it right know because I'm giving some of my personal time to let the world wide web know why I'm cool, because as it turns out that's how the world wide web works, you do not physically see people and interact with them like you would irl (I'm an expert at that if you still couldn't tell). So anyways, the way you interact with people online is by just sorta having your own page and like if I understand this all correctly, which I already do better than everyone else even though I'm completely new to it, people give you attention and read your ♥♥♥♥ because of course they would, and because they do, they unironically care about you, so you're obligated to tell them everything about your life, and trust me, I really didn't want to have to write this here text but I'm doing it, what can I say, call me epic, idk. Yeah. Like, I guess I could become a celebrity but I don't want to, I'm already basically an urban legend, that's enough for me, only cool people should be aware of my existence, this is just an exception, and either way people like that typically are severely mentally ill in a way that makes them really egocentric, these people work well on the world wide web, but that is once again because the internet is built such that it works better for people like this which I am not, I'm basically making an exception. This whole post is a massive exception to my life in case you still couldn't tell. I'm afraid that people who are not cool would want to be my friend after this so I might leave the internet forever if that happens, yeah. I know you didn't actually read everything, but I actually want it to stay this way so DONT READ. YOU'RE NOT COOL. DONT TALK TO ME I WONT RESPOND.