I was born to a loving family with a spastic dolphin as a mother and a bull ant as a father. By the age of 2, i was already considered to be the next queen ant, but my hopes were shattered when i accidentally trod on ant hill, killing all inside. It was at this time that i found out that my Mother was not actually a dolphin, nor female, and that she was actually a trans-sexual porpus.
To cope with this i then adopted a cockney accent, to help me fit in better with the small hole of Canberra.
I then lived the normal life of a small street urchin named Oliver till i was 11.
At this time i fell into the wrong crowd, a gang or Raccoons known as 'Monty Python'. After robbing several pet stores of all their Siamese fighting fish, and placing them all into the same tank, i decided that enough was enough, and i promptly kicked one of the Raccoons faces, right off it's body.It flew through the air like a pancake, and it landed on Jesus face. I didn't mean it to, but it was a cheeky bonus.
Now with both the Anglican and Catholic churches after me, not to mention the Mormons or the seventh day adventists, i fled to the small Mexican town of Sydney, where i took shelter in a nunnery, where i lived as a fully qualified nun for 13 years. When the nuns found out about the events involving the raccoon and jesus, i was sold out to the police, who are currently toratureing me using a mouse and a block of cheese.