Джон Вмазанный's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 5:15am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 7:05am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 7:17am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 3:37am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 7:22am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 3:38am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 11 Aug, 2015 @ 6:18am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

0 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

0 / 30

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

0 / 30

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30