please please please please please let me hit

please please please please please let me hit

Hi

I would cry. Cry myself to sleep knowing I’m never good enough, no matter how hard I try no matter what I do she will never love me back. After everything I’ve tried she won’t love me, because I’m not good enough. I’m not strong I’m not smart I’m not good looking. There’s other guys better then me in every way possible, I will still try but deep down inside I know I don’t have a shot, even if I stay by her side and treat her better then I treat myself she will never love me back.

She will complain about guys and say there is no one meant for her. I’ll still be sitting there waiting for my turn, then one day she will start talking to me differently. Is she liking me? I will be thinking. I will revert back to my old ways. Thinking that she loves me and developing hope again. She will start talking to me daily, I try to mask my true feelings but I can’t. Look me dead in the eye you see a hopeful kid, after a while I will confess to her. Saying I love her and want to be by her side, she knows how desperate I am from past conversations, how anyone works even if they don’t give two ♥♥♥♥♥ about me. I look her in the eyes on the verge of crying, is this a bad idea? Will she ever love me? I think to myself, then she runs over and hugs me. She pulls me in her arms and holds me tight, I get flustered because this is the first time anyone has held me like this.

I’ll wrap my arms around her and start to tear up, she holds me while saying how much she loves me, she brushes my hair and says, I love you. Such simple words leave such an impact on me, I’ve never felt this love before, my mother has never held me while saying she loves me. I still love my mother don’t get me wrong but this is special, out of everyone, athletic smart strong. She picked me, maybe I am good enough? I think to myself. I look up to her, tears running down my face as I lock eyes with her, her beautiful brown eyes. I lock with them as I cry a little harder, she holds me and laughs slightly. She looks down at me and says, you are all messy, let’s get you fixed up. She takes me hand and we go to her house, she smiles and looks at me. Hop in the shower, I’ll make us some food. I hop in the shower and stand