"I'll have you know I am a skeleton with very high standards"

"that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ghost stole my pancake again"

"i gotta stop deepthroating IKEA tables"

"i gotta stop eating my eyeballs"

"Don't steal my fork, you ass!"

"no. no, nooooooo!, oh theres my toast"

"Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift! That's why it is called The Present."

"God, I've had the worst itch right at the top of my ass for like three days. Are you writing? Don't write that. We're not doing quotes yet." - Confucius