I've got a problem.

I live in total fantasy. I never leave my apartment except for essentials. I stay here and torrent anime. While I'm waiting for new episodes to torrent, my life is dead. I have nothing to do and nothing to live for. At all.

I just finished watching NGE, and now I'm genuinely concerend that I have blurred fantasy and reality. All day today, even at work, I daydreamed about Asuka. I wanted to be there for her. What happened to her was the most unfair thing. The scene with the Eva series made me cry harder than anything ever has. She needed someone, not someone like Shinji who ♥♥♥♥♥ everything up and whines.

I can't stop thinking about her. When I think about being there for her, holding her, telling her that it's not her fault, telling her that everything will be okay, not holding her for any gains for myself… I feel so strange. My chest burns. I know I must be sick but… could these feelings to want to comfort and bring her happiness be love? Am I in love with a fictional character?

Smurfing.

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