I spent my life savings going to 587 showings of 2022's Morbius. My wife couldnt understand why I'd do that but shes clearly just not a member of #MorbMania! She called me a stupid shill, she said I had gone to the theatre so much that the employees rang up tickets for 5 showings(of Morbius) that day as soon as I walked in. I say I just love MICHAEL MORBIUS! Well cut to today, I woke up and as usual my wife was not in our bed(She thinks the couch in the basement is just more comfortable) and she also wasn't anywhere in the house(not strange, she says she just needs lots of alone time away from me to "keep her sane" whatever that means) but anyway not that weird of a morning UNTIL I realize our useless lazy sack of ♥♥♥♥ kids were also gone. They never wake up before 8:30(I wake up at 8 because the theatre opens at 10 and I need to be there early to make sure I can get my tickets) so I tried calling my kids but it just went to voicemail. This isnt that unusual either to be fair, see I had my son and daughter start working at mcdonalds to help pay for morbius tickets(child labor is an untapped goldmine tbh but i really shoudlve had them work at the theatre so I could get free tickets,oh well) So they werent picking up their phones because they mustve gone to work early to help get their old man more Morbius tickets! Great kids!.....I thought, I then wondered into the kitchen and found a letter that says:

"Joe I took the kids and left before you woke up, your addiction to that terrible movie is ruining this family, none of us see you anymore, the kids are being worked to the bone because YOU quit your job to see Morbius AND i found the bank statement you tried to hide! YOU WIPED EVERYTHING OUT?? FOR MORBIUS? ♥♥♥♥ you Joe you'll never see me or the kids again"

This was absolutely heartbreaking to me, if the kids left how am I supposed to see more Morbius! Well I figured it out! My local movie theatre chain is Regal(Thank god) so i subscribed to Regal Unlimited(only available in the regal app) and loaded all my money($533 as of now until i sell the house) into the app! Its only $20 a month! That means i get 26 months of free unlimited movies! Which obviously will all be used for Morbius! I now intend to sell my house and live out of my car so i can sleep in the theatre parking lot and be there bright and early and until its late and dark to watch more Morbius #morbiusmania

Now my only problem left is that I cant watch morbius 24/7! Theres only one 24/7 movie theatre near me and its 1. Not regal(ew) and 2. its currently only showing Dr Strange! The worst part?? The manager said and I quote "This theatre will never show that god awful morbius movie again so help me god" I can't believe someone besides my wife could be so tasteless, but whatever, the C4 I planted under his wife's car that is rigged to a GPS and clock and set to blow as soon as he gets back to his home(4505 Market St, Wilmington, NC 28405) and after his kids get picked up from school. We'll see how he likes it when his wife and kids leave him too. But anyway since i cant rely on theatres outside of Regal and their amazing Regal Unlimited program(just $20 a month, only available through the regal app) I decided to look for vampire themed games that I could play on my well equipped gaming laptop(i5, 1050, 8gb ram) and this game quickly crossed my radar. Its very fun, the movement is good and it makes me feel like Michael Morbius!#MorbiusSweep thats actually what I say whenver i manage to get a kill(a very high percentage of the time usually about 1 kill for every three matches, i hear thats very good) anytime i kill someone i just yell #MorbiusSweep into my mic, i hope they can hear it. My character even looks like Jared Leto(he plays morbius) make sure to select the Saboteur class for this. But Now i get to sleep in my minivan in the parking lot of Regal Mayfaire & IMAX and play as Morbius and then sleep for 3 hours before spending my day watching the greatest movie of all time...MORBIUS! What a game. WHAT A MOVIE 10/10 ON BOTH

#MorbMania#MorbiusSweep#ItsMorbinTime#Morb#MichaelMorbiuscockteaseisthisgoogle?