FrustratedPizza » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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18 of 28 (64%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 10:32pm

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 20 Mar, 2020 @ 6:54pm

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 20 Mar, 2020 @ 6:54pm

Meet Your Maker

Penetrate God.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 11:01pm

Summer Job

Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Unlocked 20 Mar, 2020 @ 7:44pm

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 20 Mar, 2020 @ 7:08pm

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 20 Mar, 2020 @ 7:59pm

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 20 Mar, 2020 @ 8:00pm

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 11:28pm

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 10:44pm

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 11:09pm

Appalling Appetite

You should see a doctor immediately.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 11:10pm

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 11:32pm

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 20 Mar, 2020 @ 8:55pm

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 10:30pm

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 10:25pm

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 11:49pm

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
Unlocked 17 Aug, 2021 @ 11:52pm



Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.