Welcome to the internet!
Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found
We've got mountains of content—some better, some worse
If none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first!


Welcome to the internet! Come and take a seat
Would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet?
There's no need to panic; this isn't a test!
Just nod or shake your head, and we'll do the rest!


Welcome to thе internet! What would you prefеr?
Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur?
Be happy! Be horny! Be bursting with rage!
We've got a million different ways to engage!


Welcome to the internet! Put your cares aside
Here's a tip for straining pasta; here's a nine-year-old who died
We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports
AndABunchOfColoredPencilDrawingsOfAllTheDifferentCharactersInHarryPotter♥♥♥♥ingEachOther


Welcome to the internet! Hold on to your socks
'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you photos of his ♥♥♥♥
They are grainy and off-putting; he just sent you more!
Don't act surprised—you know you like it, you ♥♥♥♥♥!


See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink
Show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think
Start a rumor, buy a broom, or send a death threat to a boomer
Or DM a girl and groom her, do a zoom or find a tumor in your—
Here's a healthy breakfast option, you should kill your mom
Here's why women never ♥♥♥♥ you; here's how you can build a bomb
Which Power Ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz!
Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids!


Could I interest you in everything all of the time?
A little bit of everything all of the time?
Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything all of the time!
Could I interest you in everything all of the time?
A little bit of everything all of the time?
Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything all of the time!