+Rep Fizzarolli just wants to go home

+REP does a great Fizzarolli voice

Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. so if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of it, you could debeak it and then push your member into it's feed chute.
You can then let it subsist on your seed.
The Octopus is smart. It will learn that without it's beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you.
Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half.
It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry.
The animal gyrates its empty stomach and the folds of its brain rubbing on your glans, begging for nutrition.
You climax and give the marine creature it’s breakfast. The pumping slows down but doesn't stop to milk out the last few drops of its meal.
Looking into its yellow animal eyes, it looks back with a thousand-yard stare. This will be routine for all of its meals for the rest of it's 3-5 years on this god forsaken planet.

With 3 Mentos in my ass, I lowered the coke bottle rim to my rim and poured. The reaction was nearly instant. With the tidal force of a tsunami, the bottle was violently ejected from my ass. Pressure was building up, and the gates of hell opened. I felt Satans sugary fire burst from my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ onto the bed. There was a pain, both emotional and physical. The sugary wet fart, the sound of a thousand ass-trumpets creating a heavenly cacophony. I had found God, and he was punishing me. There was the maddening sensation of your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bending over itself, inside out, shrinking, expanding. I have contemplated what hell might feel like, and I know that I could find peace there. My bed was soaked with ♥♥♥♥-coke. Lord, how am I to clean up.
I learned a valuable lesson that day.
TIL that the human ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ can stretch 8 centimeters without damage.
TL;DR: Stick to beating your meat, folks.
Edit: Thanks for the awards people!

alexander low skill

bruh moment