Step 1:
ONLY play Dust 2

Step 2:
Learn the following words;
- Cyka
- Blyat
- Rush
- B
- P90

Spam chat with this, constantly

Step 3:
Always buy P90 even if it means you have to forfeit armour. With this weapon, rush B every round

Step 4:
Don't care about your team, rush B, even if they go A

Step 5:
If rush B fails, rush A Long

Step 6:
If A Long fails, rush Mid

Step 7:
If Mid fails, restart and rush B

Step 8:
When playing as CT, rush Mid at all given moments

Step 9:
If you lose a game, drink bleach <3