Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
🤠
Pedaeration, n.:
The perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the
sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
😷
[Stewie and Brian are trying to sleep in a motel, a drug deal is heard in the next room]
Drug Buyer: You got the stuff?
Drug Dealer: Yeah I got it, where's the money, huh? I wanna see the money.
Drug Buyer: No, no, no, you don't see the money 'till I see the stuff.
Stewie: Oh, for God's sake, there's only one way to put an end to this nuisance. [yelling]
Stewie: HE'S WEARING A WIRE!
Drug Dealer: What? You son of a... [gunshots are heard following by a "body drop" sound effect]
😶
Since I hurt my pendulum
My life is all erratic.
My parrot who was cordial
Is now transmitting static.
The carpet died, a palm collapsed,
The cat keeps doing poo.
The only thing that keeps me sane
Is talking to my shoe.
-- My Shoe
🙁

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