ElGatuno 🌺's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 4:26pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 1:40pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 3:01pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 1:34pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 3:46pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 3:37pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 4:04pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 5:05pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2016 @ 6:03am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2016 @ 9:32am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2016 @ 11:38am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2016 @ 9:04am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 1:36pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2016 @ 11:39am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2016 @ 5:53am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 1:40pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 3:01pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 7:24pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 3:01pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2016 @ 9:25am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 3:39pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 2:14pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 21 Mar, 2016 @ 7:32pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 12:43pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2016 @ 10:36am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 2:17pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 2:13pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 2:32pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2016 @ 8:40pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2016 @ 8:30pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

5 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

1 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

0 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

5 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

11 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

2 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

7 / 30

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

967 / 1,000

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

11 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

30 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30