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Bait and switch much

No Leeches.

Polygon: The Game That Redefined Reality... Sort of
When "Polygon" dropped, the world held its breath. Not because we were expecting it, but because it came with a free helium balloon. But let's dive into the game itself, a mesmerizing journey through the world of geometric wonder that left me in stitches – quite literally, because I tripped over my own feet while laughing.

Storyline: A Plot as Tangled as My Earbuds
The story of "Polygon" starts with our hero, Captain Hexagon, who embarks on a quest to retrieve the Sacred Protractor from the evil clutches of Lord Decagon. Captain Hexagon, equipped with his trusty sidekick, Square Bob, who is perpetually confused about his shape, ventures through the land of Anglestan.

The plot twists more times than a politician’s promise. Just when you think Captain Hexagon has finally aligned himself with the axis of truth, BAM! – he’s off on a tangent involving a love triangle with an isosceles trapezoid and a rhombus with trust issues.

Graphics: Cutting-Edge Technology from the 1980s
"Polygon" proudly boasts a unique art style reminiscent of early computer graphics – or as I like to call it, 'retro chic.' The game world is a kaleidoscope of neon colors and sharp angles, making it look like a rave inside a geometry textbook. The characters move with the fluidity of a rusty robot, and their expressions are as dynamic as a screensaver from Windows 95.

My personal favorite visual detail is the way trees are represented by three triangles stacked on a stick, which, incidentally, is also how I drew them in kindergarten. The water effects, looking suspiciously like blue triangles sliding past each other, are a marvel of modern tech... from 1984.

Gameplay: A Shape-shifting Experience
The gameplay in "Polygon" is a mix of puzzle-solving, platforming, and pure chaos. The puzzles require you to think outside the box – or sometimes inside, depending on where Square Bob’s latest mishap has trapped him. You'll navigate through levels like the Pythagorean Pitfall and the Tangent Tundra, using your geometry skills to unlock doors and defeat enemies.

The controls are intuitive: use the left stick to move Captain Hexagon, the right stick to ponder life’s meaning, and the D-pad to shout geometric puns at your enemies. There's also a dedicated button for "awkward dance moves," which doesn’t serve any practical purpose but is endlessly entertaining.

Characters: A Motley Crew of Shapes
Each character in "Polygon" is a well-rounded individual... except for the ones that are polygons. There’s Triangle Tony, who’s always getting into pointy situations, and Circle Cindy, whose existential crisis about not having edges provides a surprising emotional depth.

The dialogue is rich with humor, mostly consisting of geometry puns and slapstick comedy. At one point, Circle Cindy tries to go through a door, only to realize it’s a square hole, leading to a hilarious sequence where she gets stuck and Captain Hexagon has to 'angle' his way through the problem.

Multiplayer: A Party Game for the Math Club
The multiplayer mode is where "Polygon" truly shines. You can team up with friends in various mini-games like "Shape Shifter Showdown," where you have to morph into different shapes to fit through obstacles, and "Angle Wars," a competitive mode where you throw protractors at each other while shouting "Acute hit!" and "Obtuse miss!"

In "Poly Party," you and your friends can participate in a dance-off that uses motion controls to detect your moves. The scoring system is as clear as mud, but that’s part of the fun. My friends and I laughed until our sides hurt – which in a game about shapes, is both ironic and geometrically painful.

Soundtrack: The Symphony of Shapes
The soundtrack of "Polygon" is a collection of beeps, boops, and 8-bit tracks that make you feel like you’re trapped inside a calculator. The main theme, "Polygon Polka," is a catchy tune that will be stuck in your head for days, causing you to involuntarily hum it during serious life moments, like meetings or dental appointments.

Voice acting deserves a special mention. The voice of Captain Hexagon, delivered with Shakespearean gravitas, contrasts hilariously with the absurdity of his lines. Square Bob’s voice actor captures the essence of perpetual confusion, and Lord Decagon’s evil laugh – more of a sinister chuckle, really – sounds like a malfunctioning blender.

Final Thoughts: A Triumphant Trapezoid of a Game
"Polygon" is not just a game; it’s an experience. It’s like if Salvador Dali designed a math class while juggling flamingos. The blend of humor, chaos, and geometry creates a unique world that’s as unpredictable as it is entertaining.

Sure, the graphics might make your eyes feel like they’re doing calculus, and the controls might occasionally make you wish you had three hands, but that’s all part of the charm. Whether you’re a geometry enthusiast, a fan of retro games, or someone who enjoys a good laugh, "Polygon" offers a little something for everyone – mostly in the form of acute puns and obtuse references.

So grab your protractor, put on your thinking cap, and dive into the world of "Polygon." Just remember: in the end, it’s all about the angles.

Rating: ★★★★☆ (Four out of five polygons)

Pros:

Hilarious storyline and characters
Unique retro graphics
Engaging multiplayer modes
An abundance of geometry puns
Cons:

Occasional control issues
Graphics might induce nostalgia-induced headaches
The plot is more tangled than a ball of yarn in a kitten’s paws
Polygon: where every shape has a story, and every story has at least three sides.

This game is ass and is now trying to stop the please voice from being said. This is censorship of voice and should not be done! ♥♥♥♥ THIS GAME!

Garry's Mod: The Ultimate Sandbox Experience
Garry's Mod, often affectionately known as GMod, is an exemplary piece of gaming software that has stood the test of time and continues to enchant and engage players around the globe. Developed by Garry Newman and his team at Facepunch Studios, Garry's Mod is not just a game – it's an expansive sandbox that allows players to shape, manipulate, and explore the limits of their creativity in ways that few other games can match.

Infinite Creativity and Freedom
The defining feature of Garry's Mod is its unparalleled freedom. Unlike traditional games with predefined objectives and linear progression, GMod provides a blank slate where players are limited only by their imagination. Whether you want to build intricate contraptions, create elaborate scenes, or experiment with physics, Garry's Mod offers the tools to do so. The game runs on the robust Source engine, which provides a realistic physics system that adds a layer of authenticity and enjoyment to player creations.

Community and Workshop: A Treasure Trove of Content
One of Garry's Mod's greatest strengths lies in its vibrant community and the Steam Workshop. The Workshop is a hub where players can share and download thousands of mods, maps, models, and game modes. This user-generated content ranges from simple aesthetic changes to full-fledged game modes like Trouble in Terrorist Town (TTT), Prop Hunt, and DarkRP. These additions ensure that the game remains fresh and exciting, offering endless replayability. The community's creativity and dedication have turned Garry's Mod into a constantly evolving platform where new experiences are just a download away.

Multiplayer Madness
Garry's Mod excels in its multiplayer offerings. Playing with friends or joining public servers opens up a world of collaborative and competitive possibilities. Game modes like TTT and Prop Hunt provide structured, highly enjoyable multiplayer experiences, while sandbox servers allow for chaotic and imaginative group projects. The game’s multiplayer component is robust, fostering a sense of community and camaraderie that few games can rival. The ability to interact, build, and play with others amplifies the fun and creativity inherent in GMod.

User-Friendly Interface and Tools
Despite the complexity of potential creations, Garry's Mod offers an intuitive and user-friendly interface. The spawn menu is straightforward, allowing players to easily find and place objects, entities, and tools. The game includes a variety of tools like the Physgun, Toolgun, and Camera, each providing different functionalities that are easy to learn but offer depth for more advanced uses. This accessibility makes GMod approachable for newcomers while providing powerful capabilities for seasoned players.

Educational Potential
Garry's Mod isn't just a source of entertainment; it also has significant educational value. The game encourages players to think critically and problem-solve as they build and experiment. Many players have used GMod to learn about physics, engineering, and even coding through Lua scripting. Its sandbox nature makes it an excellent tool for teaching and learning, allowing users to explore complex concepts in a fun and interactive environment.

Endless Exploration and Discovery
Every session in Garry's Mod is an opportunity for discovery. The vast array of maps, both official and community-created, provides countless environments to explore. From urban landscapes to surreal dreamscapes, each map offers unique possibilities for creation and play. The joy of stumbling upon new maps and mods keeps the game feeling perpetually new and exciting.

Constantly Evolving
Garry's Mod has been continuously updated and improved since its release in 2004. The developers have shown a consistent commitment to enhancing the game, adding new features, fixing bugs, and optimizing performance. This ongoing support has helped GMod remain relevant and enjoyable, ensuring it adapts to modern hardware and player expectations. The community’s active role in creating and sharing content also means that the game evolves organically, driven by the interests and creativity of its players.

A Platform for Expression
Ultimately, Garry's Mod is a platform for expression. Artists, filmmakers, and storytellers have used GMod to create machinima, comics, and intricate scenes. The game’s flexibility allows for a range of artistic endeavors, making it a favorite among content creators. Whether you’re building a detailed diorama, filming a short movie, or crafting a narrative experience, Garry's Mod provides the tools and the freedom to bring your vision to life.

Conclusion
Garry's Mod is more than just a game; it's a cornerstone of digital creativity and community engagement. Its limitless possibilities, supported by a dedicated community and continuous updates, make it a timeless classic in the world of gaming. Whether you're a builder, a player, an artist, or an educator, Garry's Mod offers a unique and endlessly enjoyable experience. With its blend of creativity, freedom, and fun, Garry's Mod remains a shining example of what a sandbox game can achieve.

Rating: ★★★★★ (Five out of five stars)

Pros:

Unmatched creative freedom
Vast library of user-generated content
Engaging and diverse multiplayer modes
Intuitive and powerful tools
Significant educational value
Constantly evolving with updates and community contributions
Cons:

None that overshadow the immense positives
Garry's Mod is the ultimate sandbox experience, a testament to the power of creativity and community in gaming.