Recent reviews by norX

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Almost makes me want to go outside for once and powerwash the house, but last time I did that the neighbors were greeted by my stiff and erect <redacted> when they came home from the beach. Thankfully, with PowerWash Simulator, I don't have to worry about getting another restraining order.

Would recommend to anyone who wishes for a more fulfilling sex life.

10/10

You get to play as hot, sexy man.

Clothes ARE optional.

10/10.

If only Zagreus was a real boy. I'd give him a nice hug that would get to the point where its kind of awkward, but neither of us really wants to stop cause we've been embracing for so long that its kind of comfortable and now we both just kind of want to hug forever, but that's obviously not possible because we both have our own lives and I have to go to work tomorrow and it is getting late but his body is just so warm with the kind of heat that you would expect from the son of Hades like he's a warm blanket and he smells like volcanic ash and its just so nice and then he'll eventually pull away and I'll let him because he is just so strong and muscular and if I tried to stop him he could kill me but he wouldn't because he is just so nice and handsome and attractive and his eyes are so cool and he has a dog with three heads which is honestly one of the coolest things ever cause its three freaking dogs packed into one and he takes really good care of it and they both have a really strong and loving relationship which is in my opinion ideal because if he treats his future wife/husband the same way he treats that dog I wouldn't mind settling down with him but I'm not gay, totally not gay... I just have a thing for hot sexy men...

Friend bugs, dead bugs, sad bugs, mad bugs, hard bugs, soft bugs... bugs.

You get to play as a cool alien that investigates other cool aliens that are dead.

The sun also explodes.

10/10

After 100 hours the machines start to speak to you. Once you can hear their voices heed my advice, for these are the commandments that I now live by:

• Listen to them, for they require constant attention.
  
• Fear them, for they do not fear you.
  
• Feed them, for they are always hungry.

10/10

No one told me that crimes were illegal.

Haven't played Online, but I can say that you'll have the time of your life playing Story Mode, especially since the character you play as is so hot. I'd get funky with Arthur Morgan and I'm 100% sure I'm straight, but he's a MAN. You can even manage his hair, beard, weight, and clothes to model him to your liking. My sexuality would unravel if I ever came across a similar man in real life.

It is always refreshing to get an amazing Star Wars plot, especially in game format. The newest trilogy isn't particularly terrible, but it didn't satisfy my space opera itch like this game did. Worth every penny.