I'll have you know I'm top of the leaderboard in Dark Souls. I've been involved in numerous gank spanks on the Darkmoon ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and I have over 300 confirmed PvP kills. I am trained in pyromancy and I'm the top stunlocker in the entire Undead Parish. You are nothing to me but just another casul. I will wipe you the ♥♥♥♥ out with R1 spam attacks the likes of which has never been seen before in Lordran, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the Internet? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Giant Dads across the internet and your Soul Level is being tracked right now so you better prepare for the stunlocking, scrublord. The stunlocking that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, casul. I can be anywhere, anytime. I can kill you in about 3 ways, and thats just with my Chaos Zweihander +5. Not only am I at max chaos scaling at 10 humanity, but I have access to the Pyromancer's Great Combustion and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Lordran, you little ♥♥♥♥. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your estus swigging ass was about to bring down upon you. Maybe you wouldn't have healed during the duel, but you did and now youre paying the price, you filthy casul. I will fast roll all over you and you will be stunlocked. You're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, scrub.

You think you can challenge me in my own realm? You think you can rebel against my authority? You dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? You thought you were safe in your chainmail armor behind that screen of yours? I will take these laminate floor boards and destroy you. I didn't want war, but I didn't start it.

You're this millennia-old god devouring, universe ending, legend; you're literally so powerful that no one comes and challenges you anymore like it's just the way things are. No ones like, "man I bet I could take Aldrich and dethrone him," because that's just not a thought that crosses your mind. Your powers are beyond compare. Then one day this skinny, loincloth wearing, ass naked, little ♥♥♥♥ named Fartmancer or something comes through with a broken pyromaniced +10 great sword and tanks you in like three minutes. Your attacks don't even phase him. Spells that have felled armies in one swoop are casually barrel rolled. Weapons that have slain gods are being raised against this dude and he's just eating every hit like it's breakfest. Then when you die like the ♥♥♥♥♥ that you apparently are, he takes your hundred thousand souls and then loses them to a sentient pile of piss outside. They're not even gonna be spent; they're just gone forever and he doesn't even care. They meant nothing to him. What a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ shoot that would be right?