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I have just completed my 6 hour edging session to get the highest post-nut clarity buff in human history and I am now ready for the Tarkov update. My plan is to not leave my gamer chair for 128 hours. I have consumed 8 monsters to help me achieve this goal and have a 24 pack at hand for any time I may lose focus. My mum bought a pack of adult nappies from Tesco so I think I will have to put those to use during the gaming session, though my heart rate is 290bpm and excretion is the last thought!

If you ♥♥♥♥ in the sink at exactly 4:20 am and yell “amogus” 69 times,a shadowy figured called mom will come to beat you up and you will wake up in a place called the orphanage

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I'm not a boomer. I am not a boomer. Do not f ucking call me a boomer ever again. I am quite honestly one of the least boomer people you have ever met. I make jokes about depression, mad f ucking f ucked depression. I am not boomer. I am not a boomer. Stop saying I am a boomer. If you were a boomer, I would have probably already punched the s hit out of you by now, but fortunately you are a zoomer whose body remained un-touched by my fat, meaty, fists because I AM NOT A BOOMER. If I was a boomer though, you would find my Jackhammer pounding your face with my fists. Luckily for you, I am NOT A BOOMER, and you will have your virgin face remain unpounded ad infinitum. Actually, it seems to me like you are the boomer here. You are a boomer, not me. I am not a boomer, and I will never be. If I was ever a boomer in a past life (which I WASN'T), I would be killing myself right now, that is how boomer I AM NOT.