Recent reviews by insecuretrapbf

sex

Everytime I boot up my favorite game Bloons TD 6, i can't help myself but open the heroes tab and masturbate furiously to Brickell, i want to ♥♥♥♥ her so bad, but I don't want to ♥♥♥♥ her normally, i want her to beat me up and when I'm about to die she sees that i have a boner and then we have gunpoint sex. I can't control myself anymore my teammates send me death threats for going afk for too long because I'm masturbating to Brickell

When does the game become fun?
So i just beat the girly looking dude with the lightning elephant (the story is so bad i just don't care to learn names). The combat in this game is just janky, enemy damage seems all over the dam place (1 shot firebombs at 70% load/high def/life) . I know how to use OP talismans i am a god at this game < the entire nioh community. Yes, barrier talismans etc etc its not hard to figure out how to beat enemies/bosses..i want to know WHEN THE FUN STARTS.

Dark Souls is slow and methodical. What does this game add? More plates to balance for the point of it? Diablo style loot showers?

The point of the game just seems to be to one up Dark Souls as its premise. But only in tediousness.

Here we go again, wristy twisties with the maul? Look at you, I mean really, hitting me with your maul? As if that takes any skill, well I'm guessing you lack the skill of wielding balanced weapons such as the greatsword, billhook, or battle axe but no, you simply turned to the dark side of mordhau, easy mode if you will, the maul, ready to pull off the 8th feint again? It's pathetic really, though you may beat me in combat which by the way is a result of the feint unreadability, not you, it is I who has the last laugh. Have you even heard of swing manipulation? All you can do is shake your mouse violently when you swing at me, or morph feint? Is this really the pinnacle of the mordhau competitive community? It's sad really, sad that unskilled bastards like you are what reside in diamond, blocking my rightful way to elite rank, well, if I shall see you again I will simply have to resort to a buckler and bastard sword, or worse yet a kite shield and mace, I'm sure that will rattle your boots, on the topic about ranked, do you wonder what makes a man such as myself have to camp on the pillar of contraband? It's you, you simply do not have the respect and honour to rank up, you should be at gold, dirty dirty maul feinter, how dare you even try and flourish at me? You may have beat me in the battles, but I have won the war, how about you feint more, chamber more feint more, ever heard of parry? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, dirty dirty maul abuser...

let me guess, you're a new, probably low hr, player who is an ig "main," but you have barely tried any other weapons or know what they have to offer. you just liked the flashy weapon that lets you fly around the map doing mediocre-low damage. the insect glaive is most definitely a fun weapon, but effective at doing damage it is not. you might think you are doing a lot because you get a lot of hits in, but the damage of an air insect glaive is ♥♥♥♥ compared to almost every other weapon. if you are flying thru the air trying to attack an azure ratholos as it flies, you are playing the weapon and the game completely wrong; and dont tell me its because you're trying to mount. all that time you spend trying to get 1 mount could be spent actually doing good damage to the monster.

♥♥♥♥♥ I have beaten over 99 new game plus cycles, I have a level 700+ dark souls 2 character with a certified frosty aura, I have a character in every soul level range in dark souls 2, you think your dark souls 3 lover brain can handle the 99999999999999 IQ strategems my dark souls 2 1000+ hour ass_destroyer self has come up with? I raufgh in your general direction as I beat my meat with a torch. (yes the one you make out of butterflies in ds2)

Listening to your disgusting int/dex/le'tip (faith) leveling piece of ♥♥♥♥ jewbaby ass pat your own ass n ego for being LE HARD BAWSSS dae dark sulz hard guize does nothing but harden- my ever increasing b0ner to s!zes uncomprehensible to the human eye, since it's a mind-boner made out of pure dickwraith bone that will rape you until you are ♥♥♥♥♥♥ mind-♥♥♥♥♥♥ and turn on CE like some kind of baby because you cannot beat me fairly in the ds2 arena.

You may beat me once or twice using cheats or swapped movesets or maybe you got on your level 838 max level meta-slave isis-rapist crystal magic crit glove, clutch rang, flynns, havel+5, blades ring+2, no backstab armor/ring once or twice but I promise to you that you will never beat me if I switch to my ivory kang ultra greatsword and shove it down your throat with it's spikey bleed + magic aura lightsaber powered purly by my awesomeness alone then when I switch to my offhand to punch your anus in with my covanent of champions ring you will beg for mercy.