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⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⠁⣠⢈⣿⣻⡿⠣⠈⠄⠠⠄⠄⠐⢵⣜⡩⡧
⠈⠄⠐⠄⢠⡼⢟⣼⣔⣻⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢇⢇⣹
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠈⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⡪⣲
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣦⣊⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⡀⠄⠄⡵⢆
⠄⠄⠄⡤⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⠿⣻⣿⠽⢿⢽⠜⢠⡪⣇
⠄⠄⠄⢱⣇⣽⣿⣯⣵⣤⠆⣠⣷⢠⡤⡖⢆⠄⠘⢠⢖⡉
⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡾⣿⣿⠄⢱⣣⣤⠷⠁⠠⡳⢣
⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣯⡴⠛⠟⠅⢸⣿⢄⠢⠠⢳⢫⢽
⢂⠄⡆⠄⠄⢠⢿⣿⣿⡿⠫⠄⠄⠄⠸⢱⠉⠑⡍⣮⣎⡳
⠄⠠⠢⢀⣰⣾⣯⣿⢿⣮⣋⣉⣒⣗⣚⠝⠈⢀⠠⢹⣿⣿
⡡⢁⣤⢯⢿⣏⡿⣿⡿⢻⠟⠋⠨⠣⠂⢀⡠⡕⢠⡰⠼⣿
⣴⣿⣿⣞⢸⣿⣿⣾⡗⠰⠶⠄⡄⠂⠤⡬⠪⡐⣜⢸⣽⣿
⠿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣧⣗⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⢁⠠⠄⢹⢜⡖⡇⣻⣿⢿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠾⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⡶⠟⢷⡀⠀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠉⢷⣄⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⡼⣄⣀⠀⠸⣧⣤⡾⠃⠀⠹⣧⣤⢴⡾⠋⣿⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠘⠷⠶⠟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡇
⠀⠀⣀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣦⡀⢀⣀⣮⠟⠀⠀
⣰⡟⠋⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⣾⠟⠀⠀⣔⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣽⡀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠻⢦⡀⠀⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠘⠿⠶⠚⠹⠷⠄⠀⠀⣽⡇⠀⠀⢸⡽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠋⠀⢠⡶⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠉⣙
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣷⣶⣶⣿⣷⠄⠈⠁⠤⠢⠶
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⢛⣛⢛⣛⢿⡿⠟⠉⠡⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠂⠄⠄⠄⢀⡏⣞⠋⡛⠡⠤⣼⣿⡅⠰⠢⠤⡀⠄⠄⢀
⣀⢠⡀⠄⠈⣻⣷⣯⣿⣕⣾⣿⣿⡇⢈⣾⣯⣿⠎⠄⢤
⣧⣆⡱⠴⢀⠁⠚⣿⣿⡟⣫⣾⣿⣇⡴⠈⠻⣿⠅⠄⢸
⣿⣿⣷⣧⠊⠄⠃⢽⡏⠈⠁⠄⠌⡁⠄⠄⠄⡙⠁⠄⢸
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⠄⠄⠐⠹⠄⢦⢟⠿⠗⠤⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⢪⡀⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⠄⡀⠊⠃⠄⠄⠄⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠁⠐⠄⠄⠄⠘
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⢠⣿
▏╲ ▂▂▂╱▔╲
▏▕╱▃ ▃╲╱▔
╲ ╭╮╭╮╲
╱ ┃▋┃▋▕ ▂▂▂ +rep
╰╯ ▔▔▔▏ ▕
╭╮ ╲▂╱╲
▏▕ ▕ ▕
╲ ▔╲▂▂▂▂╱ ╱
╲ ┈━╯▔▔
╱╲▂▂▂╱
╱
╱
╱
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar
But the cassock he danced really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer
Though she'd heard the things he'd done
She believed he was a holy healer
Who would heal her son
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.
I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
report him