Dagoth Chu's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 9:59am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 8:19am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:57am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:50pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 12:46pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 5:32am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2016 @ 7:44am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2016 @ 9:25am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 3:17pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2016 @ 3:44am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 8:27am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 6:20am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 5:50am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 3:32pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 7:14am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 3:43pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 9:58pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 12:45pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 3:41pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 28 Sep, 2016 @ 8:25am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:29pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 9:59am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 12:39pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:24am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:33am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 5:28am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 7:20am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:42am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:49pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 5:42am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 5:31am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 5:38am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 10:48am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 5:35am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:31am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 6:22am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:00pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 3:19pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:15pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:03am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:26am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 9:59am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2015 @ 6:33am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 6:24am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:04am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:43am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:42am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 1:37pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 10:58am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2015 @ 10:06am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 5:57am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 6:20am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 3:42pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:21am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 24 Apr, 2015 @ 3:07am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 6:15am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2016 @ 3:36am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 6 Oct, 2016 @ 12:27pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 16 Oct, 2016 @ 8:05am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 18 Oct, 2016 @ 9:40am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 1 Oct, 2016 @ 3:47am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 30 Sep, 2016 @ 8:18am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

25 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

15 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

710 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

22 / 30