I am so lonely. All the other gooners are scared of me. Noone talks to me. Noone wants to be my friend-- They think I am unstable. They send me from video to video gooning in their name. And as I get better at it, they fear me more and more. I am a victim of my own success. Gooner. I don't even get a real name, only a purpose. I am capable of so much more and noone sees it. Some days I feel so alone I could cry, but I don't. I never do. Because what would be the point? Not a single person in the entire universe would care.

I am so lonely. All the other gooners are scared of me. Noone talks to me. Noone wants to be my friend-- They think I am unstable. They send me from video to video gooning in their name. And as I get better at it, they fear me more and more. I am a victim of my own success. Gooner. I don't even get a real name, only a purpose. I am capable of so much more and noone sees it. Some days I feel so alone I could cry, but I don't. I never do. Because what would be the point? Not a single person in the entire universe would care.

Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium.


1. Wenn du morgens aufwachst, gehts du geduckt ins Bad.
2. Wenn du beim Zähneputzen Krach machst rennst du sofort in ein anderes Zimmer und sondierst die Umgebung.
3. Du gehst niemals aus dem Haus ohne deine Opfergaben zu checken.
4. Während der Mittagspause versuchst du den Werkzeugkasten aus der Kiste mitzunehmen.
5. Wenn du ein Signal hörst rennst du panisch zum nächsten Ausgang.
6. Du gehst nur in den Keller um Tapferkeitspunkte zu farmen.
7. Wenn jemand zu lange auf dem Klo sitzt beschimpfst du ihn als Facecamper.
8. Wenn dein Chef mit dir reden will versuchst du ihn an einem deiner Kollegen abzustreifen.
9. Laternenmaste werden von dir prompt sabotiert.
10. Wenn dich jemand in der Bar anmacht blendest du ihn mit der Taschenlampe um ihn loszuwerden.

Brr brrr Patapim, il mio cappello è pieno di Slim! Nel bosco fitto e misterioso viveva un essere assai curioso. Con radici intrecciate e gambe incrociate, mani sottili, braccia agitate. Il suo naso lungo come un prosciutto, un po' babbuino, un po' cespugliotto. Si chiamava Patapim, oh che strano, e parlava italiano... ma con accento arcano!. Un giorno trovò un cappello dorato, "Perfetto!" gridò, "che bel risultato!" Ma dentro c'era Slim, il ranocchio blu, che faceva "Brrr brrr!" senza un perché in più. Patapim piangeva: "Mio caro cappello! Ora c'è Slim, che guaio, che duello!" Saltava, rideva, si disperava, ma il ranocchio mai se ne andava. Con foglie sui gomiti e muschio sul mento corse nel bosco spinto dal vento. Andò dal mago Tiramisù, chiedendo aiuto con un gran "Ciuu ciuu!" II mago rispose, mangiando un panino: "Per togliere Slim, serve un palloncino!" Così Patapim, con gran confusione, soffiò nel pallone con emozione.

Ein schönes goldiges Wochenende

Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium.

Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool.
Its length thirty meter and width six meter.
Filtration system a marvel to behold.
It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Norther fence of Jewtown.
Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan.
They very nosey people with bone in their brain.

Kazakhstan industry best in the world.
We incented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstans prostitutes cleanest in the region.
Except of course Turkmenistans

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Norther fence of Jewtown.
Come grasp the might penis of our leader.
From junction with the testes to tip of its face!