Jacob pls

Bwah... Hum...ah-ehm
Bwaaaah-Bwah-Bwah BwaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Bwah Ahem-har...
Humph!
You think yours is a real moustache?
Who's done me a thousand wrongs
Ever since Donkey Kong?
Slithering down every pipe
Despite his plumb-shaped body type!
Who's gonna run in fear
While screaming 'Mamma miaaaaaaaaaa'?
Who leaves me gray and grim?
Oh, what does Peach see in him?
MARIO!
With great joy in my heart
Each time I watch Mario Kart!
You're first and doing so well
But here comes the Spiny Shell! Ha ha ha!
And now you and your Rabbid friends
Have finally met your ends!
Just let me catch my breath
Then I'll 'high C' you to death!

So that is all you've got,
You didn't hurt me a lot!
I'll help you to recap:
Between you and me, There's a gap!
Mario, you're such a bore...
Your blows just make me snore!
You haven't hurt me a single bit (Ha ha ha!)
Prepare for my greatest HIT!

Who do you think you are?
You should kneel, I’m the STAR!
You are nothing but a parody
I’ll find you a good role in TRAGEDY. (Hahahaha!)
“It’s-a me!” “Let’s-a go!”
The only words you know!
My art will touch your princess’s HEART
And you will be pulled APAAAAART!
You think you’ll win this tournament?
I’ll send you to retirement!
You’re so NOT worth the hassle!
Your princess is in another castle!
Mushrooms won’t end the pain...
Time for the Phantom to start his reign!

≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦≧ω≦

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　＼　　　　　・　　　・　＼
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　　　＼　　　　:　 ￣　　:　 ＼
　　　　 ＼　　　　　￣　　　　
　　　　　　＼＿＿＿　　　＿／
　　　　　　　　　　　　＼　＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿/）-
　　　　　　　　　　　／　　　　　　＿　　　　 _三;
　　　　　　　　　　／　　　　　　　　＼￣￣￣￣
　　　　　　　　 ／　　／＼　　　　　　＼
　　　(L　＿／　　／　　　＼　　　　　　＼
　　 :三＿＿＿／　　　　　　＼　　　　　　＼
　　　 ~　　　　　　　　　　　＼　　　　　　＼suck my ♥♥♥♥ dude