"War... War never changes. Except when it’s about two blokes arguing over who shat in whose garden."

Tsun Tzu once said, "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." In medieval Bohemia, that means the two local pricks in a petty feud over backyard defecation will unite for the sole purpose of kicking your ass.

Both of them knocked me out. One took my shoes. The other took my dignity. I woke up in a ditch, starving, and now I have dysentery. 10/10, would get mugged again.