Recent reviews by BIG TEDDY

It's not a game. That's the single most damning thing I can possibly say about it, I think. It's not actually a game. It will pretend to be a game, for the first two hours, until you can't refund it. It will tease you with worldbuilding, lore, mechanics, and interaction with other characters. It will try to make you care about characters that will literally never appear again. It is not a game. It is not even an adventure game--it is a narrative experience, and it is a narrative experience that starts with nothing and ends with nothing. There's no satisfying conclusion, not even a bittersweet one. You follow yellow paint in a strictly linear path, interacting with mechanics that only work half the time. There is no terror in this game. No dread, no sting, no loss, no pain, no nothing. The whole exercise is pointless. If you simply absolutely must engage with this game, please do it from the comfort of your preferred browser and watch your favorite youtuber play their free review copy on youtube. For the people who actually want a horror experience, or god forbid, a video game? There's nothing for you here. Turn back, save your thirty dollars, don't buy it even if it's on sale. It wants to be the lovechild of Silent Hill II and that Call of Cthulhu game that came out a few years back but it's far too inept to ever hope to be either. Leave here. Don't come back.

Because I forgot to mention it earlier--do you guys recall the debacle that Chinese Room made out of A Machine for Pigs? It's that, but worse. They've learned absolutely nothing since then. Just don't.

With liberty and justice for all.