Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-f*cked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should literally be tried for war crimes, resolutely sh*t, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless f*ckfest, recidivistic sh*tpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.