Recensioni recenti di CinemaFromage

I love B Movies. I love toilet humor, bad jokes, zombies and boobies. This game's got it all! For a game that sounds dumb; killing zombies with a keyboard...it turns out it's pretty addictive in it's simplicity. Throw in a corn ball story with a bunch of over the top characters, some film grain effect and some pretty clever B-Movie cliche's, and this game's a blast. Best in short bursts, show up to get a good laugh and marvel at the fact that you're having fun with a typing game.

Remember when you were a kid, you'd drag out all of your G.I. Joe's, set them up all over the living room, get out all the vehicles, man them up and get them set just right. Then, your dad would walk in, step on Junkyard in his bare feet, swear at 'all these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ toys!' then mumble as he kicked the Viper copter under the coffee table and kicking over the hovercraft as exited down the hall.

Then you'd set everything back up, just as it was before and you were READY. The mission was READY. You had to infiltrate Cobra, take out the Cobra Commander, convince The Baroness to come home with you and be your girlfriend since you were being such a badass Joe, all while you were slamming your VAMP Jeep through the gears, manuevering like Michael Knight through the chaos and onslaught of Cobra's defense!

Your machine gun lit up the living room as it chewed up land scape, vehicles and Cobra Casulties left and right, leaving nothing but smoking ruins in it's wake!

That's what Renegade Ops is like. You drive a badass Jeep, you shoot ♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥ blows up. You are a bonafide badass. It looks fantastic too, with big bright and beautiul explosions, driving through buildings just to see them collapse and blowing ♥♥♥♥ up, even if it doesn't give you points.

Too bad the Baroness isn't in this, cause she'd totally be woo'd into being your girlfriend after you got done being such kick ass Joe.

GO JOE!

Er...uh...WOLVER----GADES! RENEGADES!

Bubble bubble, cough and snuffle, pixels grow and my bong bubbles....

There was a thing...probably still a thing, called 'trip toys' back in the day. Stoners, acid heads, etc. would get toked up, find something flashy that would keep them transfixed for hours. PixelJunk Eden is a digitized trip toy that will keep you transfixed, much like a cat hopped on catnip and a laser pointer!

The setup's simple. You have a little dude, you right click to jump, left click to swing on a bit of silk. Jump, climb, explode pollen, grow seeds. Explore, find a seed, repeat. Sounds simple? Because it is simple. But it's captivating in that simplicity, which let's face it...is a great quality in a trip toy!

The gameplay's not all. The music is absolutely fantastic. Trance-like as it starts, the music is atmospheric and driving. As you climb higher, grow your garden deeper, the beat picks up and the strains open up even more.

So yes, I made a lot of weed jokes there because...they go really well together. But hey, I'm not condoning nothing here, right? Besides, PixelJunk Eden is just as catchy and engrossing without all that other stuff and you should be playing it. It's going to keep you entertained for a few hours, guaranteed.

Day 1: This game sure looks nice, there's just....so much to do. I mean, the map's all over, they expect me to actually walk to each place, there's barely any quest markers, I don't know where the hell...Screw it, I'm going to walk in that direction and see what I find.

Day 5: Hey, this game's starting to flow a bit now. The quest system is starting to make sense. It's kind of fun to wander about and explore these random caves and what not. Plus, my toon looks pretty cool with this helmet with the big horns sticking out.

Day 10: I'm uh...I'm not sure, but I think my wife may be angry with me. I told her I was going to go play some more Skyrim, she said 'fine, whatever I'm going to be." Hope I'm not spending too much time with the game! I can't help it though, now that I figure out how the quests and exploration works, it all feels pretty good. I think I'm going to play with some graphics mods, that realism mod sounded kind of cool.

Day 15: How in the hell do I have 110 hours played in this game already? That can't be right! I didn't think I was playing THAT much. Then again...I haven't seen my wife and kid for a few days now that I think about it. I uh...maybe I should go check on that, make sure they're okay. I'll go just as soon as I'm done forging these iron daggers.

Day 20: My new wife Lydia becons me back to to Breezehome, I've been gone so long. The Dragon of North Summit is no longer, so it is time to return. I feel sorrow for leaving her and the children alone as the war with the Stormcloaks rages on around us, but I am Dragon Born and I have a duty to keep Tamriel safe from the scaled death that soars high in our snowy skies!

Day 50: I was once an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee.

Despite the fact that Trials Evolution requires UPlay and despite the fact that UPlay desides to disconnect and basically do whatever the hell it wants except for running smoothly, Trials Evolution manages to be that shot of Nu Metal Broski dirt bike racing that we all know and love. The controls are tight, the tracks are hard and it makes for good old fashioned hand cramping fun on the game pad. If you like the original Trials, this is more of the same except shinier, HD-er and with more creative tracks. Plus, if you were a big fan of the original, all of those tracks are in here too, re-done and upgraded for you to swear at all over again.

Good times, worth the $5 I spent on it despite having to ♥♥♥♥ with UPlay!

So, I was impatient and bought Hammerwatch before I could find a 4 pack last night and now after spending a couple hours in it, I don't even care! Game is fantastic! It's so simple in setup, yet so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ challenging in execution. I find it super addicting.

There's so many game types combined here, I think that's what makes it so addicting to me. In some aspects, it's pure hack and slash dungeon crawler. Then you run into another type of monster, and it's a bit like a bullet hell shooter. Then you get your exploration jones. You get some simple puzzles. Spike mazes. All sorts of stuff! They change it up a bit in that you're not gaining xp and levels, but you're hunting every shiny gold piece you can find to level up your skills, keeping it from being bogged down in stats and number crunching.

I've played just under 2 hours and I think I'm on floor 2. My only slight concern is that everything keeps looking the same in the further levels, as in the drab green and brown pain job. This isn't even that big of a concern though, since the exploring's done pretty well and just the sheer fact of pressing on so you can find a save state is a pretty strong drive. I just hope there's some other even cooler environments later on!

Alien Spidy is a cute little guy. His butt's shiny and he's got his cute little poses through the game. Don't let that fool you though. He's still a freaking spider and as such, he can be a bit of an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

The idea is simple enough; get through the levels using your jumps and webs, slinging yourself from tree's and such, all while collecting little glowing orbs. There's obstacles to avoid, such as rolling rocks, thorns, mushrooms and such. Like I said, puzzle platformer 101. All in all, this game play's not too shabby! It can be fun and it is most definitely challenging! It's got some big problems though.

Granted, these problems may just be my skill, maybe it's my third party xbox controller. The controls are kinda of tough from time to time. The main mechanic of this game is shooting your webs in mid air to attach to tiny platforms, using your momentum to throw you across gaps and obstacles. Your webs do not always shootin the angle you want them to though. There's times where having to restart check points feels pretty cheap since you would have sworn you used your right stick to spit webs in just the right angle, just to have it shoot straight up.

The controls aren't game breaking, but they're certainly frustrating. A bit of a blemish on an otherwise cute and fun puzzler!

For the first 15 minutes, Recettear is a slog with it's sacchrine sweet animu story, music and characters. The talking (and by talking, I mean reading) carries on forever as the stern midrif bearing librarian looking fairy lectures you on the ins and outs of being a child laborer/shop owner. Then you finally get done with the lectures, you open your shop, you maybe go explore a dungeon for some items, and the next thing you now an hour has passed.

It's a steep price entry, all that slow reading to kick things off, but once you get to the meat of Recettear, it's kind of charming. The dungeon exploring (which you technically odn't even have to do) is not too shabby, set in real time instead of your typical turn based combat that japanese RPGs' tend to use. Once you load up on items, you had back to your shop, put them up for sale, make a little money.

The haggling system seems kind of pointless, but you know...whateveer. It's still enjoyable. Not something I'd power through in marathon sessions, but if you can get past the tooth ache that the oh-so-cute setup gives you, it's an allright game.

Considering the $1 I paid for it, Hamilton's Great Adventure isn't a bad little puzzle game. It's charming, it has nice graphics and the puzzles are pretty straight forward. The gameplay consists of traversing a map from point A to point B, while dealing with things such as switches, converyors, gates, etc. that limit your movement. Your tools to deal with this are limited to add to the challenge. That's really all there is to it!

So like I said, it's simple but it's not bad for a cheap little time waster. Especially if you got a 90% off coupon from badge crafting. The controls can be infuriating at times; Hamilton doesn't turn as responsibly as you'd like him to sometimes which leads to restarts of levels for stupid reasons. Given time though, you can adjust to these mechanics issues and still make for a nice way to kill 10 minutes at a time.

They're attempting some kind of story to go along with Hamilton's little adventure here, but considering he and his grandaughter speak in grunts and coo's, I uh...could care less about that.

I'm a little thick sometimes. When I first bought SHoDN during the summer sale, I played it about three times and I didn't get it. There wasn't a lot of explanation to the game and with the over stimulation that the summer sale brings, I didn't have the attention span to sit down and give it a chance. I wound up shutting the game down, vaguely wondering if I wasted $3 and proceeded to waste my time in other things.

Cut to three weeks later, I see people talking about SHoDN on the forums a lot and I figure I paid $3 for it; I might as well give it a shot. The first time through, I thought the keyboard controls were a little cumbersome but I was starting to understand the game concept; score points, extend your time, get us far down the tower as you can. Seemed solid, it was starting to sink its claws in.

Later that morning, I was messaged by someone on my friends list, urging me to submit my scores so they had somebody to compete against on the leader boards. I hadn't even realized there were leaderboards, so I played through again and submitted. That's when the claws sunk in even deeper; competing against your friend’s high scores is super addictive. I figured I was in there, so I started clicking around in the menus and that's when I discovered that there's controller support in SHoDN! Around this time, a game I thought I might have wasted my money on turned into a full on addiction.

SHoDN is dead simple in concept, but with challenging maps and tight controls it turns into a great little time attack platformer. It's difficult in all the right ways and its design of getting ever farther down the tower, combined with trying to outscore your friends list makes it a game you'll return to. It’s simple nature makes it a perfect fit for those times when you want 10 minutes of distraction instead of 3 hours of character development, but there's a strong chance it's going to suck you into that dreaded, "just one more try" state of mind.

I've yet to try the new DLC that was added this week, but it's officially on the wish list!