ihopeit'swhatyouwanted's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 1:23am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 2:25am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 2:05am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 5 Jan, 2018 @ 5:33pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 2:16am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2018 @ 1:26am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2018 @ 5:25pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 4:51pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 9:13pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 5:54pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2018 @ 12:42am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 2:42am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2019 @ 5:41pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 1:55am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 6:55pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 1:46am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 4:59pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2019 @ 5:44pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 2:30am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 2:38am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2018 @ 5:53pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 11:09pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 11:09pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2019 @ 7:20pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 4:50pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 1:24am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 1:46am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 2:18am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 5 Jan, 2018 @ 4:34pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Oct, 2019 @ 11:21pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2018 @ 2:30am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2019 @ 6:13pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 2:56am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 2:46am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2019 @ 5:57pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 Jun, 2018 @ 12:44am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2019 @ 10:38pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2019 @ 3:48am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2019 @ 7:36pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2019 @ 9:17pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2019 @ 10:51pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 12:27am

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 2:11am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2019 @ 7:36pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2019 @ 2:15am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 4:38pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

20 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

23 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

10 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

11 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

12 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,855 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30