After much waiting and awkward silence, Blart finally made it over to the two other men. Dio had forgotten about his desire to go shopping, and was instead infused with infatuation towards this strange mall cop. “Say, Mr. Blart?” he cooed.
“WHAT?” Blart responded sexily, his bellow sharp and his breath smelling of Hot Pockets.
“You’re… a very handsome man,” Dio purred, stroking the other’s Segway sensually.
“AND YOU RESEMBLE A BANANA,” Blart replied in a tone of voice that got Dio harder than that time he stabbed Jonathan in the butt with a fork.
Dio moaned slightly, “Oooh, my, you’re quite the charmer aren’t you~?” he licked his lips and cradled Blart’s face.
“IF I AM THEN IT IS ENTIRELY UNINTENTIONAL.”
And then they did it, right there in front of the mall. Vanilla Ice didn’t notice.