Recent reviews by Revolver Oshawott

What an incredibly frustrating piece of software this is. I will be transparent: I have not completed this game. I have tried to play this game several times over the year, but I cannot bring myself to play it. It is not that the gunplay is awful, it is the gameplay. When I say gameplay, I do not mean the way you run, jump, shoot, or anything like that. The multiplayer works smoothly. It is partially at how unbelievably awful the writing is. How incredibly obnoxious every character is. "Uhh, that is just the Borderlands aesthetic" NO! I played Borderlands 1, 2, and pre-sequel, and it is like this game took the obnoxiousness and cranked it up to 100. The writing was on the wall in the beginning when you are unable to progress because you must listen to Claptrap talking about something completely irrelevant. He is obnoxious, isn't that funny? You are unable to do anything for 2-3 minutes, because you absolutely must listen to this awful piece of dialogue that adds nothing to the game.

But let us ignore Claptrap for now, let us talk about almost any other quest in this god-awful game. You just have to listen to these awful dialogues from time to time amongst characters before you are able to do anything. Sometimes NPCs are next to each other, and they just talk about... nothing relatable. They are just being obnoxious and the "quirky comedy dialogue" that is barfed from their mouth makes you roll your eyes.

An NPC needs to WALK to some sort of terminal and just press a button? Well, they will slowly walk towards the terminal, stop halfway there, talk about their hair and that they are amazing, walk towards the terminal again, stop, talk about something irrelevant, walk towards the terminal, stop, talk, then they walk and finally get to the terminal. They need to press one button, but of course that is not possible, because every character in this game has the mental capacity of a rotten peanut. So they will sit there and try to click, but it is not working. The animation goes on for about 40 seconds until you finally get prompted to just punch the terminal and everything goes along smoothly while the NPC screams "WOAAAH YOU FIXED IT! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID IT! I mean, I guess I can because I am here in person witnessing it now, but that does not change the fact that this is an exceptional moment in time that-" you get the gist of it.

The game forbids you to enjoy this game, it forbids you! And when you are out questing, the quests mostly consist of these stages. Walk to area, hordes of enemies spawn. "Clear the area." You keep on clearing out enemies, but they keep spawning because it is obviously timed. When you do it, you walk towards the quest marker, then an NPC talks to you over the radio talking about irrelevant information. After a minute, they say "hacking the door now." Then you can continue. You fight through small waves of enemies, then you come to a new area. "Clear the area" pops up, queue enemies spawning, kill them. Then there is an elevator, you press to call the elevator, but it takes forever for it to come down, so queue either radio chatter from insufferable NPCs or new hordes of enemies spawning. RINSE AND REPEAT!

I cannot for the life of me recommend this game. I hate it, good lord I hate this game so much. It is so bad, I was a better man before I experienced this garbage.

One of the best RPG:s ever created. That simple.

The Rolling Skulls - Beast of Nurgle (Its really just Rolling Stones - Beast of Burden)

I don't wanna be your Beast of Nurgle,
My body’s rotting, and it’s concerning.
All I want is to see the Emperor’s face.

I don't wanna be your Beast of Nurgle,
The bloated slime is on my shoulders,
I need a bolter, not your foul embrace.

Am I fast enough?
Am I strong enough?
Am I clean enough?
Or will I be your plague-fest?

I don’t wanna be your Beast of Nurgle,
So please stop chasing me, just kill that heretic!
Radio chatter’s all I hear,
Come on, Guardsman, burn this beast with fire!

Am I tough enough?
Am I healed enough?
Am I hosed off enough?
To get rid of this infection, please!

Oh, Pestilence!
Sickly, sickly, sickly thing!
Ooh, you're a writhing, bloated, cancerous, corrupting thing,
Plague-infested, such a plague-infested, wretched thing!
Come on, baby, let's go Exterminate!

You can throw me out,
With the mutants,
Put me out,
In the filthiest streets.
But put me out, put me out,
Just put me out of my misery!

All your diseases, I can purge them out,
Your disgusting love, I don't need that clout.
There’s one thing, Nurgle,
I’ll never understand,
Why do you keep calling me,
To be your heretic man?

Am I strong enough?
Am I purified enough?
Am I wiped off enough?
Oh please, I just need to breathe!

I don’t wanna be your Beast of Nurgle,
Your love is like rot and I need some peace.
All I want is to see your plague-friends cease.

I don’t wanna be your Beast of Nurgle,
I’ve walked through the mud, and I’m done with it, please!
I’d rather burn your plague-fleshed army.

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be,
Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be,
Your Beast of Nurgle,
For the Emperor’s Light, I’ll fight eternally!

Long story short: Get CK II for a more complete experience.

Crusader Kings III is a game that presents visual improvements over CK II, along with some UI enhancements, and that's about it.

It has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that this game offers a less fulfilling experience than Crusader Kings II. Everything about this game feels barebones, and it's simply not enjoyable anymore.

As Paradox releases DLCs and free updates for this game, it's starting to shape up to be what Crusader Kings II was. This game is a disappointment, through and through. There's nothing this game offers that CK II doesn't already provide.

If you can get this on sale, then yes, you should. But you're better off just playing CK II instead.

Solasta: Crown of the Magister is a game that harbors a great deal of potential, particularly with its custom player-made maps that compel you to revisit the game repeatedly. It should be perceived more as a sandbox, allowing you to bring your imaginative TTRPG adventures to life in a digital format.

However, the game is has a lot of bugs, resulting in constant desynchronization issues when playing online with friends, battles not starting, characters getting stuck, characters being unable to open doors, etc, etc. Additionally, it suffers from some of the worst voice acting in video game history. While there is one character in the main campaign voiced by an actor who seems to genuinely care about their role, the rest of the cast and NPCs sound flat and lackluster. There is an awkward pauses between conversations that contributes to an overall uncanny valley sensation throughout the campaigns.

On the positive side, the DLCs are commendable additions that enhance the game's value, introducing newly "voiced" campaigns and new classes.

Visually, the game falls short. While it appears acceptable from a top-down perspective, characters' faces look absolutely horrendous upon closer inspection. Beards seem glued onto faces, and certain hairstyles appear unnatural.

Nevertheless, the UI is sleek and elegantly minimalistic.

I would not recommend purchasing this game at full price; rather, wait for a sale to obtain it.

It's not fun to play. My balls were not devoured.

Really bad. I cannot be arsed with putting more effort into my review, because there was barely any effort put into this garbage.

It is a fun game that is slowly but surely making me more racist by the day.

DOWN COMES THE CLAW!

I want to begin by saying that I am incredibly biased since I tend to like most CRPG games out there.

Pillars of Eternity is a phenomenal game with immense worldbuilding, rich characters, and the old-school bite along with it. While some quality-of-life modern adjustments have been made, it still very much feels like one of the old-school CRPG games I would be playing when I was a kid. Something similar to Icewind Dale 2 or Planescape: Torment.

The art style of the game is fantastic, the setting is interesting, and the small, cool things you can do to get more lore out of what a character is saying by hovering your mouse over highlighted text just adds to the vastness of the world that has been created.

The game rewards you for trying out different things. Do you want to go in guns blazing and just kill everybody? Go ahead, you can try! Your life will be significantly harder for doing so, but you can definitely do it!

The sheer grittiness, the grimdark atmosphere that looms over this world goes perfectly hand in hand with the high fantasy that it presents itself to you.

Sometimes an event will occur mid-game where a row of text explains to you what your character is doing, and you have a choice over a set of skills to see what you can accomplish. This is something that I would say is a con since I would much rather see what is happening than read a block of text, and if I succeed, my character has just teleported 20 feet forward onto a platform.

You will remember this game. These characters will grow on you. You will care for some characters, and you will hate others.

This game is truly a masterpiece, a testament of its time. Highly recommended.

Rating: 9/10.