As you all can see here, we have a new traveler in our ranks.
Uh, this is my cousin Tyrell, and he will be controlling the player character.
His name is Kanye.
He's a giant, yo.
(nervously laughing) Uh, dear cousin Traditionally, a-- a giant is not assumed by a player.
It is a chaotic, evil-- Yeah, but I want to be a giant, yo.
All big.
Oh, okay.
Fine.
(laughing) Well, travelers, you are joined on your adventure today by a giant named Kanye.
Now when last we left you, you were at the Inn of the North Star in the town of Isledor.
How do you begin your adventure?
I wanna get some beyatches.
Where the club at-- at Isledor, yo?
Tyrell, this is highly unusual.
I think the guys probably just wanna go on the quest-- - Um, Stephen? -
Yes? I would like to join Kanye the Giant in his quest.
Seriously? All right.
The two of you enter the tavern.
What do you say?
Kanye the Giant orders Alize.
"Hmm," says the barkeep.
"Uh, I know not of this foreign beverage of which you speak. Perhaps you'd enjoy an Elven ale?"
No, we both want the Alize.
Alize does not exist in this world.
Kanye the Giant slaps that beyatch.
Oh! Kanye the Giant attempts to slap the bartender.
Here.
The bartender is half-Hobbit and very nimble, so you're going to have to roll an 18 or above to hit.
- 20.
- Blip.
Slap that Hobbit's ♥♥♥♥ off, yo.
Okay, Gollin the Cleric, would you care to restrain Kanye the Giant before the town guard is called?
Uh, I grab money out of the register.
But-- but-- but Gollin the Cleric is lawful good.
This act of thievery would dishonor his gods.
Hey, man.
The only gods is money and beyatches, dude.
Ah! I accept Kanye the Giant's gods, and, uh yeah, I-I-I steal some of the money too.
You too? Okay, would you now like to continue your quest - for the Lance of Caldahar? -
Fellas we came here for beyatches. Where the beyatches at?
All right, you see a bevy of well-endowed wenches.
Great, I grab them beyatches and we all go in my SUV.
Fine.
Kanye the Giant, Udar the Dwarf, and Gollin the Cleric climb into his SUV with their beyatches and their ill-gotten gains.
And our Alize.
Plus Kanye the Giant puts his demo CD - in the CD player-- -
No, he doesn't. There are no CDs in this world! You know what? Do whatever you want.
All right.
I guess I'm the Dungeon Master now.
The Eye of Ona opens up - 16 booties fall out