CelticArderne » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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10 of 28 (36%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 26 Feb, 2019 @ 11:33pm

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 26 Feb, 2019 @ 11:34pm

Meet Your Maker

Penetrate God.
Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 12:08am

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 26 Feb, 2019 @ 11:48pm

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.
Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 1:14am

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 12:22am

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 12:23am

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 12:18am

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 12:39am

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 27 Feb, 2019 @ 1:18am



Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+2

2 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked