Capybara bandit.gg's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 9:10pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 10:06pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2024 @ 2:41pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 9:17pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 7:43am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 12:45pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 4:50pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2024 @ 1:34am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2024 @ 2:43am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2024 @ 6:04am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2024 @ 11:14am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 21 Feb @ 5:19am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 1:10pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 12:22pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2024 @ 2:04am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2024 @ 1:07am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2024 @ 12:27am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 4:33pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2024 @ 2:43am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 11:40am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 6:09am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2024 @ 1:57am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 1:23pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 8:55pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 12:48pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2024 @ 2:28am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 9:05pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2024 @ 2:41pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 12 Jul, 2024 @ 12:43am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 11:41am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 1:08pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 9:24pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 7:45am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 8:39pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2024 @ 12:45am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 8:31pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 1:21pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 4:11pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 1:33pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 2 Jul, 2024 @ 10:14pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 13 Jul, 2024 @ 11:29pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 2:09pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 1:49pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2024 @ 11:17am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 5:26am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 7:06am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 1:17pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 16 Feb @ 11:09am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 7:34am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 17 Feb @ 8:18am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 17 Feb @ 8:49am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 11:35am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2024 @ 11:34am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

17 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

18 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

19 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

16 / 30