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8 of 10 (80%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

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Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 1:28pm

Click on door 430 five times.

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 1:19pm

Achievement

This is an achievement.
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 12:40pm

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 1:20pm

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 1:55pm

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 10:01am

Go outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 1:25pm

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.
Unlocked 27 Oct, 2013 @ 10:19am



Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.

Unachievable

It is impossible to get this achievement.