Are you tired of these flawless virgin cuckold streamers tryharding in your games?
Are you not sick of all of these stasis Andies freezing you all the time?
Are you bored of seeing titans sliding round a corner with a shotgun?

THEN FEAR NOT, THE TELESTO IS FOR YOU

FOR A LOW LOW PRICE OF 1 BUG FIX PER WEEK, YOU CAN HAVE THIS VIRGIN VAPORIZING, STASIS SLAYING, SHOTGUN BAITING MASTERPIECE!

How do you use it you ask?
It's simple, you see a yellow flawless basement dweller holding W with his True Prophecy and Felwinters? Simply dodge behind a wall, wait for the dumbass to throw his grenade, then precharge, peek and delete.

ITS THAT EASY!

Stasis getting you down? FEAR NOT! Simply repeat the above steps, and worry no more!

And those pesky titans spamming slide? Youll never guess, just plant a shot of telesto's purple goodness at your feet, and wait for the dumbass to slide round that corner. Riiight onto your pile of god juice.
THEY NEVER, EVER, SEE IT COMING!

BUT WAIT! THERES MORE!
More you say? YES! ITS ALSO A FANTASTIC ANTI CHEATER GUN! Cheaters getting you down?
Just slap on a sword, 3 peek the hell out of them, and when that dumb mf decide he wants to come for your godly ass, you just gotta hold M1, peek and slap the coomies at his feet!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!
GO AND GRAB YOURSELF THE MEANEST GUN AROUND BEFORE ITS NERFED ((again), idek why bungie even bother nerfing it for gods sakes). HURRY UP!