First off, I’m not gay. Never been attracted to a man. I mean, I can acknowledge when a man is handsome, but in no way am I sexually attracted to men.

But it seems like every time I hit the rock, I end up with this disturbing, overwhelming desire to have a d1ck up my ass. I don’t understand it for the life of me. When I am sober, the idea of getting a d1ck up my ass is, honestly (and I’m not trying to be offensive here) disgusting. But when I’m high on crack, I’ll be jacking off so hard it’s insane, and I just can’t nut- and all I can think of is how much I want a d1ck up my ass. As I’m sitting here, I’m sober and the very idea of taking it anal grossed me out; but get me on a stone, and it’s a whole different story. I’m scared that one day I am gonna f0ck around on a crack binge and actually go through with it and end up with a d1ck up my sh1tter- and I know that once I sober up I am gonna be disgusted with myself and traumatized.

Wtf is this? Does anyone else go through something like this?

Literally the first sentence- I make it clear I am NOT gay. And I just took this test that says I am 100% not gay. If I WERE gay, I would have already gotten b0tt f0cked because I have ass for days (I’m an athlete) and gay guys want to get in my turds like all the damn time. But the thought of that seriously disgusts me. I know I’m not gay. But somehow rock makes me want to get f0cked up my ass. Maybe it is some sort of over-abundance or otherwise imbalance of neurotransmitters that makes someone gay- maybe that’s where “gay” came from- cuz the dudes that were f0ckin each other’s buttholes seemed so damn happy all the time due to all the serotonin/dopamine/whatever else chemical in their brains. Maybe it’s all tied together. The chemicals interacting in your brain 100% affect the way you feel and act- that isn’t up for debate- just plain established fact. So why is it hard to believe that altering the chemicals in the brain a certain way could make you gay WHILE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THAT/THOSE CHEMICAL(S) (even tho normally, the same person is definitely not gay at all- and has never gay in his life!) ??