Anybody know where I left my keys? I got home last night around 1 AM and threw them somewhere, but to be honest, my brain was so fogged from the alcohol and other substances that I don't really even remember walking in the door. Actually, now that I mention, I don't think that's my car outside. Wait a second, this isn't even my house. Where am I? And who is this woman laying next to me? That's not my wife. I asked; her name is Sarah, and she doesn't know who I am. I'm scared, Kilo.

I met this girl at a bar and we went back to my place. We were both pretty drunk and horny, and she asked if I wanted to ♥♥♥♥. I obviously said yes, and I couldn’t wait to try her big fat ♥♥♥♥, but when I pulled down her panties, there was nothing there! It was just a squishy wet hole. I asked her where her schlong was, and she told me “Girls don’t have schlongs!” I was so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ confused. Please help me!

kilooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo