Met this dude in World of warcraft ages ago, when the game was still good. We eventually started chatting and over the next couple of months we became really good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great memories and most importantly true friendship.
A few weeks ago he invited me to his house for a party. I was really looking forward to meeting him in real life. He seemed like a cool guy. I've also known him for a few years so I thought "why not?".
When I arrived at his house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, I felt his hard wee wee pushing against my leg. I punched him and then one tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.
Actually wait, he said no ♥♥♥♥ when I started running away so we good now.

Can't believe we are friends. You're so cute, and physically speaking, I am simply hideous. I feel silly asking you this, you probably get hit up by like fifty guys a day, I know you're out of my league, and there's no shot you'll ever respond to this, but I just wanted to say, this is so stupid, you're probably showing this to all your friends right now and laughing, my god, I am just not cut out for this... sigh ... how's you're morning going?

butts