So, last Sunday my parents made me go to church, which made me really mad because my parents don't let me play Among Us in church. We took our seats and the priest was up front talking about "salvation" and "holiness" or whatever. Same thing as last week.

But then, he said something that really caught me off guard. He spoke of a man who goes by the name of "Jesus."

"Jesus."

"Je-SUS."

No way. I could not believe what I was hearing. Endorphins were rushing to my brain and my body began to shiver as I let out a quiet moan. If you didn't catch on by now, the word "Jesus" has "SUS" in it, which is a reference to the popular video game "Among Us."

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

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Hello idiot.

Oh I’m sorry, I just looked at your profile I didn’t realize you were a lady. (And a beautiful one at that) I try my best to respect women, especially women in gaming. As a matter of fact now I actually do agree with you. I’m sorry. Maybe you could even add me on pc and we can play some games together. We could play GTA, overwatch, minecraft, maybe even a little COD. Add me D4ADDY_SEX69. Sorry about my name, my cousin made it a while back. He is not a good person like me and does not carry my values.

May I, a woman respecting and feminist-supportive male, see at least one breast from you my queen? I do not mean to come on as an improper male, and if this request disturbs you, please make me aware. You, my queen, deserve the utmost respect of any female. However, many of my gender seem to sexualize women and view them as sex toys. However, my Queen, I do not share these views. Rather, I value the female spectrum of the human race as the superior, and I, a respectful male, request for the viewing of an isolated, singular breast from your body. I await your response my Queen