I AM NOT CHEATING.
HE IS NOT CHEATING. - VALVE MODERATOR


Charlie

You can't disappoint your parents, if you never make them proud. - Mike

X: Allah Akbar.
Me: Stop it. I don't know whether it's in the game or outside.

X: Boost me mid.
Me: You are already boosted.


𝓨𝓾𝓴𝓲: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
𝓨𝓾𝓴𝓲: barely made it to the plane
𝓨𝓾𝓴𝓲: before it left
Hasno: if you were a pilot, they would have waited for you


StanKex: X: are you training any sports
StanKex: some guy other than hasno: yeh
StanKex: X: oh really, what?
StanKex: some guy other than hasno: boxing meat


Yuki: hey maybe u can give me a min
Yuki: i want to make a ssandwitch


Best Hasno? = Dead Hasno


my teammate's info: peach, fridge, tfuuu - bridge.

X: I see you are toxic Hasno.
Me: Yeah I have HIV.
X: Don't worry, just stay positive man.
Me: I am HIV positive...

If gif is pronounced like "jif", then you can drink orange goose (juice).

My teammates keep me warm by throwing molotovs at me...


Yuki:"What the hell was that"
Me: "Sorry my fly was down"

(Terrorist) !EdF! Jedi Mind Tricks‎ @ T Start : go collab with nazy and shut up - he's french XDDDD

Your mic is like a refugee - it doesn't work.

Me: How could you lose 4 v 1?
X: Why did you stop defusing?
Me: I died.
X: How did you die? Why stop defusing?
Me: I WAS KILLED BY THAT ONE GUY YOU COULDN'T KILL.
Votekick for Hasno in progress...


My mother left me at the foster home, but they didn't want me and sent me back.
♿

I changed my nickname to Nick Gurr, and I played a few games in CS GO. Long story short some guy did a comeback while playing with 3 bots and while laughing at me he said he's gonna upload it on youtube. A few days later he messaged me he got demonetized because of my nickname.
WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, HUH?

Being lesbian is difficult and painful, because you get only 70% of your partner's love.

Some guy: Are you british?
Me: No.
Some guy: You're british you fu*king fascist


It's funny to have an inside joke about Latvian Comedy. I mean it was funny until I met someone who was talking to me in latvian for 15 minutes, refusing to believe I don't understand him. XD

I am looking for a girl with my eyes wide open. But I have got slanted eyes so you can tell I am not very successful.


Mario: Why are we playing eco again, what's wrong with our economy?!
Me: Let me guess, we've got greek, lithuanian, polish, russian and serbian. Do you still have any questions about economy? XD

Me: You're so retarded kid, even James May calls you slow...



Mike: Yo, come up with a joke about my english teacher, I want to piss her off.
Me: Your english is so bad, my african parents decided to teach me themselves.
Mike: .... Ok, I need to "wright" it right now.
Me: I can see the african accent is doing its part.
Mike: ♥♥♥♥ you.


I played a game on Nuke and there was a guy ~25 y old who had some weird accent and couldn't spell "R" correctly. At some point he decided to talkshit us for killing 3 enemies and losing the bomb on B site. At some point he lost the bomb on a 1 v 1 and started talkshitting us for not helping him. We started talking back and it looked like this.

Me: trashtalks
Him: wow so savage man.
Me: your dental hygiene is savage kid
Him: *started crying with his mic on*


When Yuki blames s1mple for camping in vents:
- I did not camp there, its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I did not camp there. I did naaat...
*meets Yuki in vents*
- Oh, hi Yuk-
*gets shot*