Recent reviews by [ETK]Hardembedder ҉

What could have been a good game has been consoled up hard as anal, submerged into some ♥♥♥♥ by controls alone, if it wasnt for that, review would have been a thumb out of ass pointing upwards. To all the gamma boys out there saying they have no issue with controls is because you never do cool ♥♥♥♥, you just ride forward like duststruck boomer upvoting the graphics, never feeling the whole potential of what it could have been if you could properly steer your horse that wouldnt straighten itself out on invisible waypoint rails that drive you into a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wall.Gather plants? Rip out indian tobacco within 3 seconds, one plant, want wild carrot? stand there watching the animation for 7 whole seconds. Its exciting and your character never learns to rip it out faster. Cant abort half the actions you start, decided on picking up bounty hunting? - practice stretching your back towards legs with mouth open, because that will detonate properly controlswise. Try having a hostile player while doing anything in this game and it breaks right through it, because the whole animation festival was meant for singleplayer, where the ai would pause and wait. A ♥♥♥♥ can just out of nowhere start bounty hunting your ass while you are cooking meat somewhere and see your exact locaiton. How it will go down? He will turn on dead eye and line up aimbot shots on your upper xbox, unlocking that mystery embedded into grey matter. Thats why i am complaining to YOU, yes YOU, Johnathan Assman, releasing the game ahead of its alpha stage. GTA 5 came out way earlier, what the ♥♥♥♥ is this? Cover system has been improved backwards, you can look out of cover but it has no other use than elevating skullzone for a headshot. HELLO?! THE. ♥♥♥♥. ARE. YOU. DOING? Wanted system brings up questions about INT stat in the pipboy hard, superpendejo, you can spawn bandits far away from you so they roll up, yet when its wanted level they magically surround you like it was 5.1 no mo?? Dead eye is just aimbot for fat armpits unable to move. Heeeeeeh, want to cook 10 pieces of meat? Then you better get used to holding down one button, exciting to watch the fire sprite to restart to the tune you heard 50 times, someeeeeeeeeee, exciting, ♥♥♥♥, homeboooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaah. The close to perfect game that could have killed all games has a major graphical upside aswell: You cant turn off shadows because they are embedded into the model now. Cant wait for gta 6)) that will have a lot more models to render)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

after bashing for so long, here are a few revolutionary funcitons WE NEED in gta 6:
-no chat (so you can only socialize with people whispering next to their kids and speaking a foreign language with their family in the kitchen)
-slow everything so you can eat in the meanwhile ( pooling calories together )
-hotkey abusive items like lasso so you only need to tap the key once to win a fight (so you dont need to move fingers to lose weight in real life)
-MOST definitely we need dead eye because i am tired of manually aiming on my computer, sell me an xbox controller instead no harm done so the game plays itself

just because

hehe here are some scripts for the eingneer
bind x +attack
bind w +walk

bind space "cd eject;unbindall;quit"

(Review text hidden)

bleiben vier tot zwei ist ein hur ensohnmodus fur arschlochmenschen. sie akzeptieren laternen wie ein hund mit grossem mund

i said hi,
i walk among the creatures of the night

close, listen closer i am the most sickest rapper,
I have blown through some chapters,
fans are asking for the real ♥♥♥♥,
but we are forcefed all this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ its unfortunate.
its unfair
thats why i am never done here,
i am rebuilding and the future? it is unclear

Action packed combat

augmented my cow tits to spill the beans

less voltage from zeus than from kgb cables on your afroscrotum