Останні рецензії користувача Ethan

The Single Greatest Star Wars Game Ever Made, Don't @ Me.

SPOILERS: The Game let me play as the Holy Spirit, shrink down inside a small boy's body, and shoot the viruses that were killing him with my Godly Dragon Ball Ki Blasts. That was absolutely NOT what I was expecting from this Game, but it was definitely entertaining.

That being said, it's one of the ugliest AND the single WORST performing game I've ever played on my rig. I can tolerate a game LOOKING bad, and I can tolerate a game RUNNING bad, but never BOTH. The models were hideous, animations were below amateur, lips didn't move when characters talked, tons of texture pop in, and the game ran below 30 fps most of the time, regardless of resolution. There was also only graphics options for "High" or "Low" no "Medium" which is a bit odd. I can only think of 2 reasons this Game runs so bad, either it received absolutely NO optimisation... or it's a bitcoin miner. I'm leaning towards the latter honestly. This is just an hour long demo, yet it's 30GB somehow! The Voice Acting ranges from "Awkward American VA that narrates the Audio Bible" and "Slavic guy with no experience in VA, using his gaming headset mic". There was also weird bugs, a couple causing soft locks that required me to restart the Chapter.
On the positive side of things... the Game did have an FOV slider, up to 120? Sad that I consider that a positive worth mentioning, but not every Game has that, and not getting sick from low FOV, is genuinely one of the positive's I have to say about this Game.

I was really excited to have a good Bible RPG. This is NOT that.
However, it does let you play as Jesus, and fight an evil glowing Satan Orb in Hell, by shooting Iron Man Lazers out of your right hand, and Dragon Ball Ki Blasts out of your left hand... so there's that.

To be fair, this is the Prologue, and it's free. You get an hour of a funny, janky Bible Game that runs like hot garbage, and looks like it too. I would NOT PAY MONEY FOR THIS GAME IN THIS CONDITION. If this is a peak at what the Full Game will run like, then I encourage the Developers to maybe delay it another Year, until they can get it to run well, and fix some of the bugs. However if their goal is to release another broken, buggy bitcoin miner onto Steam, then I can at least look forward to reading the funny Steam Reviews when it drops.

"Peace be upon you." - Jesus

The first boss I fought became invincible because my Frame Rate was too high. After capping my Frame Rate to 60, I damaged him too much too quickly, and that also caused him became invincible. Also, the game wouldn't let me change the difficulty to get past this completely broken boss fight. I had to use a Cheat Engine to progress.

Why are Japanese PC Games like this?

I 100% completed this Game, not that there's any way to verify that. This Game has no Achievements, or Trading Cards, it doesn't even have Cloud Saves! I beat this whole Game on my Steam Deck, only because no Cloud Saves meant playing on my main PC would involve starting a New Save file. As far as Steam Games go, this one is shockingly bare bones. I say "shockingly" because this came out in 2021, it should have Achievements, and Cloud Saves, come on guys!

I had this Game in my Wishlist for a year+, and I rarely saw it go on sale, nor could I find it cheap elsewhere. When I finally did see it go on sale, I snapped it up for a little over £10. Took 8+ hours for me to 100%, so I got my moneys worth. I rarely fork out that much for a 2D Pixel Games, I usually only play them for an hour, then get bored, and give up when they get hard. That being said, I could tell this Game in particular was something I needed... an easy 2D Platformer. Unlimited lives, and generous health points allowed me to 100% this game. Honestly, this might be the first 2D Pixel Platformer I've ever beaten (legitimately), and as an entry point into the genre, this is a decent one.

It's kind of like Super Mario World, but with some lite RPG mechanics. Every level has 2 stages, Night, and Day, which is a really neat mechanic. You only have to play one stage to beat the level, meaning you could theoretically beat about 50% of the Game, and still complete it, akin to Super Mario World. You can unlock extra Health Hearts for beating bosses, as well as buy them in the Barber Shop with the coins you find, as well as attack upgrades, and special moves. There's a very lite Metroidvania element, as some secrets involve unlocking the corresponding ability to collect. Other than that, the Game is pretty linear.

The sprite work is GORGEOUS, and has a major charm, that might be the main reason I picked the Game up, and played it the whole way through. The Art Design really elevates the game honestly. All the mechanics tie into the "beard" theme. The move set is decent for a 2D Platformer, with a hover move, ground pound, climbing, grapple, swimming, and more and all of these moves are achieved using your beard. You spin your beard to hover, your beard forms a mouth to bite the grapple bars, and, your beard turns into arms to climb trees, etc. The early levels are great at teaching the player the move set. They are simple, and fun to navigate. The Game started to get easier as I went from having 3 heart pieces, to about 7, but the Game took my heart pieces away temporarily in the 3rd World, which did make those stages harder, but It did feel a little cheap. I ended up with only 2 heart pieces for the 3rd World, which did make me play differently, and was a nice change of pace. The Game gives you the heart pieces back afterwards, making the final World a bit of a cake walk, but this works as a nice epilogue, as the 3rd World felt like the real climax of the Game. The bosses are decent too, but I'm struggling to remember the earlier bosses, so I wouldn't call them memorable. The Final boss was cool though, although probably too easy as I upgraded my attack strength a lot.

Overall, a decent game, for an okay price, but I wouldn't say it's a glowing recommendation. If you're a seasoned veteran of 2D Platformers, there's nothing special for you here. If you're looking for a real challenge, you won't find that much here. That being said, if you like easy platformers, or are looking for a great entry point into the genre, the what is here, is a fun, cute, charming, platformer with great pixel art, a mid soundtrack, decent gameplay, fun levels, and a glorious beard... but seriously guys, would it have killed you to add Achievements, and Cloud Saves?

The REAL Blood 2

A very fun 3D Platformer, with tons to collect, and some MASSIVE Maps to explore! The movement is fun, and precise, the combat is goofy, and the seemingly endless amount of Hats, Weapons, and Shields to collect is addicting. The Game is in Early Access right now, and there are 3 Levels available, but honestly with the size, and density of these Maps, and the amount to do in them, plus Online Co-op, I'd say it's already easily worth what I paid for it!

I'll maybe add more when the game comes out of EA, but for now, all you need to know is YES, this Game is great, and if you love 3D Collectathon Platformers, then you're gunna have a good time with Bang-On Balls: Chronicles.

You ever play Ratchet & Clank, and wish you could Grapple Hook Swing everywhere? Well then this is the game for you. Some of the most fun movement mechanics I've ever played in a (non-Mario) 3D Platformer. Story and atmosphere are crude, and gross, but game is fun as hell, and has RayTracing, and DLSS. I will update this review when I complete the game, but in short - Buy This Game.

This is the fake Video Game they play in the Movies.

This game will be removed from Steam on June 21st as it becomes Free-to-Play on the Epic Games Store.
If you do not want to use their platform, make sure to purchase the game before that date.

This is an awesome game, I personally felt the length was perfect, I beat it in basically one sitting, and had a great day. The only problem is price. £35 ($45) for a 5 hour game is too much. I got this game on sale for £17 ($20) from a pretty humble place, and that's a much more appropriate price. Hopefully 'Flying Wild Hog' will add some more FREE content via updates, or lower the price to account for the length. Otherwise, this is a must play if you loved DOOM Eternal, but just make sure you buy it in a sale.