Dumblydore's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 12:58pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:27pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:04pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 8:33am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:09pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 11:44am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:06pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 12:11pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 1:31pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 Feb, 2014 @ 9:42am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 10:01am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 11:40am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 10:23am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2014 @ 1:36pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 2:12pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 10:43am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 12:37pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 7 Feb, 2014 @ 10:34am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 9:05am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2014 @ 10:03am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 9:56am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 9:27am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 10:35am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 7 Feb, 2014 @ 9:35am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 1:47pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2014 @ 9:06am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2014 @ 10:02am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 1:30pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:10pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:05pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 7 Feb, 2014 @ 8:55am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:26pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 5 Feb, 2014 @ 9:46am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 10:57am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 6 Feb, 2014 @ 1:25pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 8:11am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:44pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:13pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 9:04am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 12:57pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:58pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:27pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:12pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 2:02pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 12:00pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 1:58pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 1:00pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 3 Feb, 2014 @ 2:20pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 8:43am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 4 Feb, 2014 @ 12:14pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2014 @ 9:52am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 19 Feb, 2014 @ 10:24am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

7 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

26 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

23 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

3 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30