Why rtz so sad

Damn OP, idk what to say after reading that. Just know you've got the support of a whole community behind you. Glad to hear things have turned to the better for you, and wish you all the best in the future.
There's something about Dota that seems to be a common outlet for people to dive into in order to avoid the pain of their outside problems. I know I did it in high school, and many of my close friends in the scene have done it as well. In fact not so long ago, a friend told me he was going to play ♥♥♥♥ tons of Dota in order to drown out the pain of losing someone close to him. A big part of it seems to be that most of us are introverts and don't have the traditional social support structures to help us through tough times so investing into a game so complex with so many X factors allows us to think only about the game and not the heartache we feel.