My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

You ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥. You just spent three whole ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ days sitting here hitting F5. You know how many American Dollars you can earn in 72 hours? And that's with a decent night's sleep. You spent time and energy complaining about the record not coming out and now that it does you won't play $20 measly USD for it? How many games on Steam did you just buy during the Chinese New Year Sale? How many trips to MacD's you make in the last week? How many chai lattes you bought for your girl in the last month? You need to man and up and either lay that debit card down for that Tidal trial or you need to fork up the Andrew Jackson sitting in your wallet that you know you're gonna blow at the strip club tomorrow anyway (we all know your girl left you in the last few days)? You could be bumping to TLOP while getting a lap dance for $40 and ya'll are complaining? Man. ♥♥♥♥ this ♥♥♥♥. Ya'll keep ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and I'll sit here with Chance killing it on repeat.

sometimes i wonder how Real Men™ survive... i mean they have "man-buns" and "man-purses" and "guy-liner", but that's honestly not much to survive on. how do they eat small delicate foods like berries without calling them "man-berries"? how do they perform domestic tasks like going to the store without calling it "man-shopping" or "mopping," if you will. can they wear regular necklaces or must they be called ""mecklaces""? how do they acquire the necessary food, water, and shelter without calling them "mood," "mater," and "melter," respectively? i just don't know how they do it, do they not cringe at every word that doesn't begin with 'm'? yet we don't even see their meakness (man-weakness) because they maintain such strong maces (man-faces). how are they so brave, mexperiencing this life without even the momfort of calling it "mife." are they allowed to dream? or can they only have "man-dreams" or "meams," if you will,

The exact moment I knew I was gay is when I first started watching SpongeBob. I didn't know what it was about him that made me want him so badly, but every time an episode came on my ♥♥♥♥ became rock solid. I knew I wanted to do more than merely watch this sponge. I wanted to ♥♥♥♥ his tight little juicy ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. For years, I dreamed of pounding him from behind and filling him with my ♥♥♥ and watching it drip out of his pores. However, no matter how many times I choked my chicken to the mere thought of him, my lust for this sexy succulent sea sponge could not be satisfied. I tried everything, body pillows, dolls, even hiring a prostitute to dress up in a SpongeBob costume and suck my ♥♥♥♥. Nothing was good enough. So, I made it my number one goal to create a hyper-realistic SpongeBob sex doll, so my fantasies could finally be brought to life.

No longer will those who also have a unquenchable thirst for Mr. SquarePants have to dream of releasing their sticky seed inside of his anal cavity, for they can now enjoy the real thing. But, creating this sex doll would not be an easy task, and this I knew. That's why I need your help to fund this Kickstarter. For donating $20, you get a T-shirt that says "I'm gay for SpongeBob SquarePants." For $40, you get the shirt and a coffee cup decorated with the finest SpongeBob rule 34. For $60, you get SpongeBob anal beads. For $100, you get a SpongeBob fleshlight that you can jizz in or whatever, plus all the other ♥♥♥♥. Anything less than $20, and I'll just ♥♥♥ in a shoe box and mail it to your door, because ♥♥♥♥ you I don't need your peasant change. I would like to make the world a better place with this SpongeBob sex doll, because I believe that everyone deserves the right to stick their ♥♥♥♥ in a fictional sponge from a kid's show.

First, take a big step back... and literally, ♥♥♥♥ YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ United Nations and get a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ binding resolution to keep me from ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! I will massacre you! I WILL ♥♥♥♥ YOU UP!