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Masturbation is a sport.

According to Oxford Dictionary, a sport is defined as “an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment."

Masturbation:
- involves physical exertion
- involves skill
- is entertaining
- involves individuals and groups that can compete against each other

Therefore, using this criteria, beating your meat is objectively a sport.

Yea I just hit like the dirtiest headshot in fortnite (399m). It was not my personal best (which is 407m) but it was still pretty impressive because I wasn't really trying at that moment. All my internet friends think I'm lying but what they know am I right? I once posted a dirty NoSc in fortnite reddit (website full of fortnite pros incase you are a n00b) and they gave me like 200 "upvotes". I don't consider myself as a pro but I'm definitely better than 80% of the community. So my question is that why my retarded friends online don't believe me? I'm like winning almost every match but every time I tell them that I've hit some uber long range headshots they don't believe me. Sometimes they even say that I'm cheating but I can't make myself bad at this game because it just happens to be really easy for a real gamer like me...

When I turned 9, I learned about masturbation. I tried to touch myself to pornography, but it didn't work. As I grew older, I realized I felt arousal when I saw photographs of Luigi. My first orgasm was to a picture of Luigi crossdressing. It still makes me horny. I remember the first feeling of sexual attraction to Luigi. I imagine him in bed with me. I want Luigi to make me come over and over until I'm panting and I can't take it anymore. I'm too horny to continue writing this.

It's not the same profile anymore without your iconic profile photo :( #bringaestheiclouislittback2018