Recent reviews by Ayam XII

Too much time spent in the spirit realms (whoooooaaaaa!) with text alluding to things in the past with vague poetic notions that *whoooooaaaaa*... I was too unobservant to follow what the fine details of the story actually were and thus whatever complexities may have made the story compelling were lost on my simple mind. I'm a simple man, very simple, and much maligned for my simplicity (low iq WHOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA).

Do you like to be punished? Bad doggy. Now watch this before Daddy Sekiro whips you more: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOq3KT4z_NA&list=PLdfcgn3Mc7WMncBqULVMCPNwzpDXtLjf7

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obyzkl1tpgI&list=PLdfcgn3Mc7WPF4yX7IeKIiwMRnXcCa42I&index=1

Updated review: one of the best laughs I've had. The above link is a testament to the amazing discoveries in EDF5. The escalation of difficulty levels and their respective weapons makes it such a nuance even when replaying the same level on different difficulties. One day I will go full head on Fencer! One day, but even before then plenty of laughs were had by the team above,

Old review:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRabqhJ9T4E&list=PLdfcgn3Mc7WOoGVpIcurVj1YK4TCcKOHq

Watch this playlist and if you don't think its sequel can be good then yes, that is in the realm of possibility, but so far it's freaking amazing coop! This has been your daily dose of a review to which you can't conclude a thing about the product safely! I love providing this non-service!

Ridiculous Japanese hyperbole of the cold war where cliched lines are spewed as much bullets with more tongue in cheek than a salad tosser. Only gave this a thumbs up because, playing it on July 4th with its stereotyped American hero and bad Hollywood action set-pieces, I feel like its cornered that market and is riddling it with guns, biceps and more guns.
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But was it any good? Read the other reviews soldier, I'm just a weaponised pawn in this political game, my opinions don't count for chicken poop. *arms lasers and aims them at you pointlessly as fireworks shoot off behind me*

I recommend this for its intriguing storyline told at a decent pace through simple exploration and dialogue options that are excellently integrated into said exploration. The translation of an ancient language is also intriguing although not a deep puzzle-a-thon; my experience of the puzzle element was more a case of gathering as many inscriptions as possible and brute forcing the validity of my guesses. Thuggish translation, keeping it gangster as always. Sometimes at night I think of those solved translations lamenting at my heavy handedness and lack of refinement, but I've got to try to get past those feelings, I've got to live my life without regrets and I think I'm halfway out of this dense jungle of guilt.
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I'm getting my shooty fix from other games; Heaven's Vault was a very welcome change of pace, it was slow but involving and that patient progression came at a time when I was in the mood for it. Good timing, Heaven's Vault, if I was any more hormonal and rutting I may not have clicked with you and bounced in search of another mate with bigger guns...

So far the cool ricochet situations are forced by the environment leading them to feel too conveniently placed rather than an organic situation. However the slow down mechanic is generous enough and the double aim functions pretty well. However the bullet ballets you see on social media from My Friend Pedro are less dramatic to play through than to watch in slow motion afterwards. However the post-level gif generator that allows you to tweet out the coolest footage from your level is a nice touch. However that footage is automatically chosen by the computer and it usually cuts off too quickly or it captures a moment I thought was tertiary to another couple of moments that seemed much better to me.

Now, if you count the 'however' tally in this review you will think I'm a conflicted man, and I am about this game, and that's not enough to convince me to try to convince you to purchase this. I will continue this to completion so it's not a bad game in my opinion, just not the continually slick looking gun-fu I was expecting.

A teeny bit too easy, imagine me pressing my finger and thumb together as I say "teeny". Just a weeny teeny reeee-ny bit too easy. But so satisfying when you pull off some killer moves against a giant mob of enemies. I beat it over a few hours in one sitting on kb+m and my fingers and wrists are now internally pulp. They look really good on the outside but inside they are like swamp juice.

The secrets are too esoteric for my liking, the pain and frustration of some locations is real. However, the feeling of heft in combat and the mystery behind each area really pull the game through to make it feel crunchingly satisfying. I've spent enough time on Dark Souls now to spend any more time typing this review on it. "SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON (like Seath the Scaleless smashed you)."

And watch the highlights here if you dare: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsWiRmIYw5g&list=PLdfcgn3Mc7WP4_RRQYhaFK2VSJ9zYw-LP

I'm grateful I got it as a gift (thanks ff) because the emotional payoff at the end did hit me a little, I think mainly because it was accentuated by song and the theme of family loss is quite easy to get anyone's bottom lip wibbling. However, there are a couple of tedious, somewhat obnoxious puzzles that had me groaning and a bit too much walking around at a pace so annoyingly slightly-too-slow-but-just-on-the-threshold-of-tolerable.

I'm going to give this a thumbs down because overall it felt more tedious than it felt like it evoked any deep emotion. You may now proceed to call me a heartless automaton, go ahead, it... does... not... compute.

Unsure why this was put on a pedestal. Maybe for me to knock it off? Lots of ainless walking around with 16 bit backdrops that lend themselves a surreal air but not spooky to me... oh it's free. So it gets a free pass? NOT ON MY BLOCK!