babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. im sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.

19 years of loyal, clean behaviour in hundreds of games and 10s of thousands of hours, online and off. All gone. Washed away after playing this open beta for 60 minutes. My pristine account forever tarnished because according to Activision, I decided to cheat. No one will believe me of course. After all, only cheaters get banned. The system NEVER makes a mistake. I guess I was a cheater this whole time and never even knew!
Absolutely demoralizing. I hope no one else ever has to feel the way I do right now. Do me a favour, and don't buy this game. Please stop giving this company money.
In the 41 years I've been alive on this earth, I have never cheated. Not on a test. Not in sports. Not in a video game. I abhor cheaters. Use your brains. I value my money. If I wanted to throw $150 away, why wouldn't I just throw it away? Why spend $150 to play a game that got me excited to play it, only to cheat and get banned? How does that make more sense

I'm getting ready to beat hell out of my girlfriend for the 3rd time in the past four days. When we first started dating, a beating went a long way, but she's proven to be a lot more resilient than I realized. As I type this, she's in the other room limbering up. Stretching and ♥♥♥♥. She's not even crying. I don't even have to threaten to kill her if she calls the police because I know she isn't going to try to call anyone However, by the fourth time I'd kicked her down the stairs, she developed a kind of rolling technique and now she doesn't even get bruised. Now she occasionally just dives down a flight of steps just to get to the bottom faster. So now I sneak up on her to beat her, or at least I did. She just moves herself around me so that she keeps me in her line of sight the whole time when she looks where I point. No matter how many times I beat her, it just doesn't change her behavior. What would you do pol?

When I was a little kid, I would sit in the back of the bus and listen to my Walkman, this was one of my favorite albums and this was one of my favorite songs. I remember when I was singing this song in the back all these people started making fun of me and telling me to shut up but I wouldn't. So they proceeded to kick the ♥♥♥♥ out of me, lame memory but this song is still badass tho 

i was listining ti this with my oet hamster and i started to cry tears of joy(0.0????) cause my hamster almost got taken away cause i didnt do my chore

-Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.